"What is above knows what is below, but what is below does not know what is above."

It took no time at all for me to lose the serenity and peace that I found last week.  I'm working to re-kindle it but have lost my enthusiasm for doing so.  The spontaneity, excitement and adventure of last week have a cost and I'm paying it.  My feelings of defeat and exhaustion today are incredibly powerful.  I want to get back in the car and find somewhere to go where I can bury it all, but that's avoidance rather than responsibility.

I am the oldest of four children in my family and I have the personality of my birth order position.  I'm a conscientious perfectionist who has a strong need for approval.  My devotion to responsibility becomes obsession at times.  I want to do everything correctly.  I don't want to give anyone a reason to find fault with me.  I know that it's not possible, but that doesn't stop me from striving for it anyway.  That constant drive to handle it all exhausts me, especially when I encounter people whose actions and words cause me believe they are out to make sure I do not succeed.

I've told you before I don't set goals because setting them and not reaching them screams failure to me.  As Ed Harris's character said in Apollo 13, "Failure is not an option."  I realize I'm not trying to land on the moon or figure out how to get a crippled spacecraft back to earth safely, but I still do not allow myself to fail.  I should work on that...allowing myself to fail.  I don't forgive myself for much.  I know that both the failure thing and the forgiveness thing set me up to be constantly frustrated.  Changing that behavior and those thought processes however are my Everest.

I imagine everyone has one thing in their life that seems insurmountable...I call that my Everest.  I think life evolves and shapes people too much every day for your Everest to stay the same for your entire life.  I'm also quite certain you can have more than one Everest at a time.  I have a couple of Everests right now, but I think the second will be more easily tackled if I can climb the first.

I'm a huge fan of quotes and sayings that are thought provoking.  I read several quote sites each day looking for inspiration and wisdom.  The quote that titles this post is a portion of a quote I found by Rene Daumal.  I also found the following quote by Greg Child that I thought was appropriate for this post, "Somewhere between the bottom of the climb and the summit is the answer to the mystery why we climb."  Climbing my Everest is part of my journey.  What's your Everest?

One a Day

I've set another goal and it doesn't involve vitamins.  I don't know what's prompted all of this goal setting...I could probably use a prayer or two on that front because if I start falling short on all of these goals, things could get ugly.  There are many things that are "one a day" or daily recommendations...an apple a day keeps the doctor away, you should drink eight glasses of water a day, daily recommendations for nutrition intake...the list goes on and on.  I'm not yet ready to reveal what my One-A-Day goal is in this forum, but I would like to ask that you say a little prayer for me that I can stick to this goal, that I won't get discouraged and that this One-A-Day campaign furthers my life journey.  If you can handle asking if I've done my one-a-day without knowing what it is...feel free to ask.  But if asking me if I've done it is going to lead to questions about what it is, don't be offended if I don't answer.  This is probably the point at which I should tell you that my one-a-day is nothing illegal, immoral or inappropriate.  Not that any of you would assume I'm involved in any of the above, but I just thought I should clarify.  I'll be completing these one-a-days at the end of the day, so if you see me at work during the day I likely will not have done my one for that day, but certainly you can ask about the one from the day before, if you're so inclined.  If you're thoroughly confused...suffice it to say that this is a part of the change I mentioned in yesterday's post and is necessary for my personal growth.

Oh and in case you're wondering....yes I've done my one today!

I've become my own pet peeve

I told my brother tonight that I thought to really appreciate time for personal reflection you had to be in a place where you wanted to take a hard look at yourself.  If you're not interested in soul searching or reflecting on your life, then spending time doing so is fruitless.  I, however, have recently come to the realization that I am my own pet peeve and that's part of what has motivated me to take a hard look at myself and my life.

I've said for a long time that one of my pet peeves is when someone complains about something that is totally within their power to change.  Complaining about things outside of your control I completely understand...everyone needs to vent.  But complaining about something that you have the power to change is a pet peeve of mine.  I've become that pet peeve.  I have complained a lot, and in some cases loudly, about things that are within my power to change.

I don't remember ever being Polly Positive.  I've never had a chipper or cheerful disposition.  I've been happy and content, but not necessarily the high-spirited, happy-go-lucky type.  In the last few years I've become cynical, pessimistic and at times surly.  I tend to think of all of the bad things first rather than looking on the bright side.

I decided two things during my drive time last week...1) I need to work on being more positive, rather than being so negative.  2)  I need to stop being my own pet peeve.

I can't promise that I'll stop complaining, but I can guarantee a lot is getting ready to change.

1,781 Miles

I'm back in Oklahoma tonight after traveling 1,781 miles this week.  I set out to make a large loop through four states before coming home.  I've done just that and am back where I started.  It's been an interesting week.  I've learned a lot about the places I've visited and about myself.  I've mentioned before that several hours on the road can certainly bring about opportunities for personal reflection.  I've already started planning my next route!

I've heard that your home should be a place of relaxation and retreat.  Mine is neither for me right now, in fact as I write this I'm hiding in my bedroom avoiding the chaos that is the rest of my house.  It's no one's fault but my own that I feel stressed and chaotic in my home.  Hopefully I will wake up rested and motivated to be productive tomorrow.

I mentioned when I started this blog that I didn't think I had enough to write about that would be interesting or entertaining for readers.  I've had positive feedback from several people though and I've made my sister and close friends promise that they will tell me if I start embarrassing myself...no one wants to embarrass themselves on the world wide web...so if you'll keep reading, I'll keep writing.  I can't promise that it will be terribly interesting all the time, but perhaps it will give you a window into my world.  Thank you for reading!

I like Ike!

I went to Abilene, Kansas for the express purpose of going to the Eisenhower Presidential Library.  It's the third presidential library I've been to of the twelve currently in existence.  I was not disappointed by my stop here.  It's a beautiful complex, with lots of things to see and do.  Like all presidential libraries there is a lot to read as you move through the museum.  I didn't read everything.  I imagine you could spend the entire day there trying to read every display.  I did read quite a bit and I certainly learned a lot about the 34th President of the United States.  If you haven't been here, I would recommend it, especially if you're a history buff.  Due to his being a five star General there is a good bit of war and military memorabilia.  I started my trip reading the book Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay which is a historical fiction novel based on the round up of Jews from Paris during the Holocaust.  I ended my trip today learning more about the US participation in ending World War II.  That's a period of history that has always interested me, and I found it ironic today that I started and finished my spring break journey in that vein.

There are several buildings that are part of Eisenhower Center.  The white house in the foreground of this picture is the boyhood home of Eisenhower.  He lived in this house with his parents and five brothers from the time he was eight until he left for West Point at the age of 20.  This is the original house in its original location.  The artifacts are incredibly well preserved.  The taupe colored building behind the house is the museum which houses a walk through time line of Eisenhower's life and presidency.  The large park in the center and to the right of the picture is the park around which all of the buildings are centered.

This building, partially hidden by the trees, is the library.  There are only a few exhibits in this building, one of which tells visitors about the establishment of the Eisenhower library.

This statue of Eisenhower is in the middle of the park, between buildings.  The stars on the concrete at the base of the statue are to represent his five stars earned as a General.  The presidential seal is also on the concrete near the statue.

Dwight Eisenhower, his wife Mamie and their son Doud who died as a child are all buried on the grounds of Eisenhower Center.  This chapel was erected around the graves and is labeled as the Place of Meditation.

I've always enjoyed vacations where I can learn something new or visit historical sites.  Today fed that part of me very well.  I enjoyed my time there and learned so much about the Eisenhower administration.  It's left me hungry for more information.  I think my next trip to the public library will have me looking for books written by or about Dwight D. Eisenhower.  Before leaving, I stopped at the gift shop and bought a presidential libraries passport.  I realize some of you will think that's hokie but somewhere throughout the week I decided to acknowledge these things I'd like to achieve as goals rather than just "something I'd like to achieve" and this is one way for me to track my progress toward this goal.  Three down...nine to go.

Going up??

Not in an elevator apparently!  I'm in Kansas tonight and for the second time on my trip, I'm staying in a hotel that doesn't have an elevator.  When that happened earlier in the week I was on the second floor so while I had to haul my very large suitcase...hey, I packed for a week...up to the second floor, that doesn't compare to tonight.  I'm on the third floor of this particular hotel and I had to haul my very large suitcase up the narrow short flights with lots of landings and turns.  I suppose that's better than one gigantic staircase, but holy moly people!

The last time I hauled suitcases or boxes to the third floor of any building using stairs was my sophomore year of college.  I was blessed to live on the third floor my freshman, sophomore and junior years of college.  I say blessed because if you live on the top you don't have elephants that run around above you.  My junior year I happened to live in a building with an elevator, but the first two years it was all stairs.  I was younger then.  :)

Today was my longest travel day of my trip.  I drove seven hours today.  I did fine until the last hour.  I started to get restless in the last hour of my drive.  I passed several things that I would love to have stopped to see if I had time.  There are so many unique places around this country...I could spend my entire life doing what I've done this week and not ever see everything.  Tomorrow I'm headed to the Eisenhower Museum and Library.  I have no doubt I'll enjoy experiencing the history and learning about one of our presidents.

I could feel my shoulders tensing and my neck starting to hurt just thinking about all that I neglected this week to spend a week away.  I should really go home tomorrow and begin dealing with things.  I told my dad tonight though that I don't really want to go home tomorrow.  I'll sleep on it and see how I feel.  I was hoping that a week away would energize me and give me the motivation to deal with the chaos that is my home and job.  While I did rest and immensely enjoy my time away, I'm not coming back with the energy I was hoping I would.  I've got to find a solution for that.

Play ball!!

Twelve days from now the 2012 Major League Baseball season will open.  I can't wait!  I fell in love with baseball in August of 2007 when my sister, mom, grandmother and I attended a Yankees baseball game at old Yankees stadium.  They were playing the Royals and to be honest I have no idea who won the game.  What I remember was the electricity of the crowd, the depth of history and the excitement of the players.  It was early August and what I've learned since that game is that early August is the part of the season where organizations are mounting that final run that will get them into the post season.  When I came home from that trip I watched every game I could find on TV including the World Series.  The Boston Red Sox won the Series that year and I learned a lot about the Red Sox players and organization which ultimately transformed me into a Red Sox fan.  When my sister and I vacationed together in 2008 we went to Boston and got to tour Fenway.  We didn't go to a game while we were there, but the history I learned on the tour was very fascinating.  Anyway...since then I've been a very big baseball fan and have enjoyed learning more and more about the game and its players.

 

As a high school student I went to both Wrigley Field and Turner Field.  I've been to Rangers ballpark more than once...most recently in 2010 to watch the Red Sox play the Rangers.  The 2007 game that really committed me to baseball was at old Yankee stadium, I've not been to the new one.  I've toured Fenway and last summer my sister and I went to a Mets game at Citi Field.  Today I got to add another ballpark to the list when I went to Coors Field in Denver, home of the Rockies.  We tried to get there early enough to tour the park, but they were sold out when we went to buy tickets.  In following with my adventures this week though, we were able to get into the park anyway.  The ticket lady told us that a high school game was being played and we could get in for free to watch the game if we wanted to.  I don't have the foggiest notion which high schools they were or why they were playing at Coors Field, all I know is that because of that game I got to see the inside of the ballpark.  We watched a little bit of the game while Christy filled me in on the history and nuances that she knew about the ballpark.  Like all MLB stadiums, there is some sort of story behind something in the park.  I learned several fun facts from Christy today, here are two...1) because of the dry atmosphere in Denver, game balls are kept in a humidifier prior to game time.  2)  All of the seats are dark green or black except for one row of purple seats in the third deck that marks the one mile line.  Sitting in those seats you would be one mile above sea level. 

After leaving the ballpark we walked around the downtown area.  There are lots of shops and restaurants in the area.  We had her two youngest girls with us, so there wasn't a lot of shopping, but we did walk around so I could see more of downtown.  I took the picture below of Union Station, a train station downtown.  It's currently under construction...or at least the front sidewalk is...so we couldn't go inside, but it's a very cool building from the outside.  I may have to see if I can ride a train to Denver...that would be very cool!

I've always been the kind of person that has a few close friends rather than having lots of acquaintances.  I'm not very good at being a friend, actually.  I have some social anxieties and oddities that I think make it challenging for people to stay friends with me.  I'm sure there are things I could do to work on these oddities, but at this point I've not tried to really address it.  I have a handful of friends that look past my deficits and love me anyway.  Christy is one of those friends.  I remember meeting her for the first time in the bathroom that connected our dorm rooms on the third floor of Cathcart at Harding.  The four of us in that suite were thrown together in pot luck fashion.  We were from four totally different places and the friendship that Christy and I formed that year continued to grow and now 15 years later we're still able to pick up where we left off. I am grateful for her hospitality this week.  I enjoyed my time with her and her family.  I won't let three years go by between visits next time!

How could I forget??

I totally forgot in my last post to tell you about the Legos!  I've always loved reading and puzzles.  Ever since I was a kid those were my two favorite things to do.  I go through phases of how many puzzles I do or how many books I read that aren't work related, but I love both.  I re-discovered the Lego store during our trip to the mall today.  I've been to a Lego store before...in Chicago I think...but I had forgotten that it has such wonderful puzzles to put together.  I call them puzzles because the sets that interest me most are the ones that have a specific end design.  You don't have a bunch of pieces that can make tons of things, you have specific pieces that make a specific design.  They have a line of products called the Architecture line.  They are sets that recreate with legos well known structures or buildings around the world.  If you're looking to get me a gift, a Legos Architecture set would be perfect.  They have the White House, the space needle, homes that belonged to Frank Lloyd Wright, the Sydney Opera House, the Guggenheim, Rockefeller Center...there are many options!  I got online to check it out and I can even vote for what the new structure will be.  I'm a nerd I know it...I can't deny it.  I have several 3D puzzles that are architectural structures like that.  This is the same thing in Lego form.  I think I found a new hobby!

By the way -- for the same reason that I like lego sets with a specific design to make I also prefer color by number.  I don't know if it's a lack of creativity or my absurd devotion to structure, but I much prefer knowing how it's supposed to turn out rather than trying to come up with it myself.

Shop 'til you drop

It's been a shop 'til you drop kind of day!  When Christy and I were trying to decide what to do today she asked if I wanted to go to IKEA.  When I replied with, "What's IKEA?" she was shocked and suggested we absolutely had to go there.  I had heard of it before, but didn't know what it was.  We got around and were there shortly after opening.  I knew it must be a big deal when we pulled into a parking garage just to access the store!  We dropped one of her kiddos in the play area and proceeded to follow the mazes and arrows around the showroom and marketplace.  It is definitely impressive!  I enjoyed seeing how they set up rooms and apartments to maximize space.  It made my organizational brain very happy.  I got a couple of small things, nothing major, but have vowed to check their website for my future household furnishing needs.  We ate lunch at their cafeteria.  It was pretty good.  There were lots of people there.

We went from there to the mall just a little ways down.  I'm not a big shopper, in fact the last time I was in the mall was before Christmas.  I've been to some department stores attached to the mall, but to actually walk around from store to store I haven't done in forever.  I hate clothes shopping, so I tend to avoid malls since that's a large part of the merchandise.  Yes I am related to Kayla...I'm just her polar opposite!  :)

This evening Christy had some obligations so I'm hanging out at Panera.  I love this place.  You can sit and read or work for hours.  Not to mention they have free wifi.  It's been a good day.  Tomorrow before I leave town we're going to take a tour of Coors Field.  It's the baseball stadium where the Colorado Rockies play.  Something else I'd like to achieve, besides visiting all 50 states and all of the presidential libraries is to go to all of the major league baseball parks.  I'm a relatively new die hard baseball fan, only in the last five years have I watched every game I could find on TV.  I love the game!  There are 30 major league teams and I've only visited a handful of parks, so I have a long way to go, but tomorrow will give me one more.

It's been a great trip and I'm beginning to feel it coming to an end.  In my time at Panera today I've had to start work for next week.  I know I'll be home before I know it.  Hopefully I can find ways at home to recreate the peace I've felt and continue on a more figurative journey than the literal one that's taken me on the road this week.

Purple Mountain Majesties

I stopped at a scenic overlook this morning just across the Colorado state line.  There wasn't a safe place to stop where I could take a picture of the Welcome to Colorado sign, but I figured this was a better picture anyway.  The song writer got it right when she called the mountains majestic.  I'm sure there are other words that are equally as descriptive, but majestic seems to fit.  I've driven through the Ozarks several times, but this was my first time to drive through the Rockies...or at least the foothills.  You can't help but be awed by the height and power of the mountains.  There are several songs written about or referring to mountains, some literal others figurative, I'm sure you can think of a few.  Several came to mind while I was driving today.

One song that doesn't have to do with mountains, but that I listened to more than once on my drive today was "This is Your Life" by Switchfoot.  If you haven't heard the song, I would recommend looking it up.  Like everything else it can be found on youtube.  Throughout the song, the same question is asked..."This is your life, are you who you want to be?"  I've asked myself that a lot lately.  Driving by myself for hours at a time provides many opportunities for reflection, and that's certainly a question for me to reflect on...am I who I want to be?  Am I who I'm meant to be?

Music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.  It wasn't always organized music...certainly there were piano lessons, the choir, my time in band...but my house growing up was filled with music, long and short car rides, church services...music is everywhere.  One of the little known facts about me is that I love musicals!  My family knows this about me, but it's not a love I share with everyone.  My favorite is the Sound of Music, I can sing every song and probably recite most of the lines if you can get me started.  The first musical that I saw live was Norman High School's production of Grease.  I remember going to the high school auditorium for a middle school field trip and returning with my friend Mary for an evening performance.  We felt so grown up, dressing up, buying our tickets and attending the production by ourselves.  I've been blessed over the years to see other productions live.  My high school had a very active theater department which did a musical each year and last year I got to see my first Broadway production in the theater district of Manhattan.  Of everything I've seen the musical that came to mind most today was Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.  I've not seen the stage version, only the movie, but it's one I've watched since I was a kid.  I was thinking of that one today as I drove through the Raton Pass.  I doubt all mountain passes are the same, but the scene in the movie where the women scream causing an avalanche that closes the pass came to mind today as I drove.  Like other arts, music is a form of expression that I have a deep appreciation for it.  I'll never create it, but I'll certainly enjoy it.

Swimming and Sunsets

Do you remember when you were a kid and the most exciting part of staying in a hotel was getting to go swimming?  This was especially true if you didn't have an in-ground pool in your backyard.  Today I got to be that kid again.  The added benefit today was that not only was I in an indoor pool, but I could look out the surrounding windows to the snow covered ground with mountains in the distance.  It was a little surreal.  Despite the fact that this hotel is full tonight, I was the only one in the pool for most of my time there.  I water walked and read.  I sat in the hot tub and read.  Notice a theme??  I'm almost finished with my book.  I'm not a swimmer, I'm actually quite fearful of water.  Ask my parents or siblings some time about our family vacation that included a day trip to a water park.  While I won't divulge the details of that day, I'm sure my siblings will be all too ready to tell you about my reaction to a water slide.  I don't go into water over my head without some sort of floatie or life jacket.  None of that was needed for the heated pool or hot tub today...I could stand, sit or walk and regardless of the direction I was looking I could see the snowy ground.  I came back to my room, opened the curtains on my west facing window and watched the sun set behind the mountains.  While I'm disappointed that I'm not spending my evening with Christy and the girls, I've had a nice, relaxing day.  I think this is what was meant by the adage...when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Adventure

My siblings and close friends will tell you that adventure is NOT my middle name.  This trip is reforming me however and I'm getting better at going with the flow.  I left Santa Fe this morning expecting to drive to Denver to stay with Christy and spend a couple of days with her and family.  I started driving in snow about forty-five minutes outside of Santa Fe and it got progressively thicker and heavier the farther north I went.  I don't consider myself to have a lot of talents, but after my adventure today I believe that I am a talented driver.  Those that worry about me should skip over this next part....the snow was blowing quite a bit preventing me from seeing oncoming traffic (on the other side of the median), I could see two cars in front of me but no farther, the snow covered the lane lines and the asphalt was covered with white.  I was going slow and I never slid or anything like that, but it definitely wasn't the most prime driving conditions.  When I got to Raton Pass it was closed and the department of transportation turned everyone around.  I came back a couple of exits and after a short internal debate decided to get a hotel room here.  I debated whether or not the pass would open, how long I should wait and see, etc.  After a brief conversation with other stuck passengers, I decided getting a room was the best plan.  As I secured the last room at this particular establishment, everyone else seemed to be doing the same thing.  It's still snowing so I'll not be venturing out this evening, which since I haven't had lunch means the vending machines will be my friend tonight.  There is an indoor pool and I stuck my swimsuit in, so maybe I'll take a dip!  I'm happy, I'm content, I'm safe and since I've been picking up books all over the southwest in the last few days, I have plenty to do.  Just another day on my journey!

An art collector

If purchasing two small pieces of Native American art makes me an art collector, then I've become just that.  I have items at home that I would consider pieces of art, but they were gifts.  My friend Lesley brought me a boomerang from Australia, although admittedly it's not appropriately displayed right now.  My brother Ryan brought me an African vase that's in my living room.  Today I bought the pieces you see below.  The one on top is local pottery.  The one on the bottom is a wood carving done by a Native American artist from southern New Mexico.  Neither are huge pieces, but I was intrigued and taken by both.

I suppose the saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is a true statement.  I've discovered in the last couple of days that beauty can be found in a variety of surprising places.  I realize not everyone finds the same things beautiful, which I suppose is where the beholder part comes in, but I think if you look you can find aesthetic pleasure anywhere.  Santa Fe is a beautiful city.  It's primarily brown, earthy tones and I would describe the architecture as thick, heavy and strong.  It's exactly as I imagined southwest architecture would look.  I started my day at Starbucks reading a new book and drinking a mocha.  I then found an amazing toy store with tons of puzzles and games that I'd never even heard of!  I bought a dot-to-dot book for myself.  Before you laugh, or roll your eyes, you should know that this is an Extreme Dot-to-Dot book with puzzles containing up to 1400 dots.  You can't tell what the pictures are until you work the puzzles, so I'm looking forward to trying it.  I also got a couple of things for my classroom....I know, I know....but these are fun things!  Wikki Stix and finger puppets...my kindergarten students are going to be excited.

I roamed around stores and shops most of the morning.  I visited the Cathedral Basilica.  The stained glass, art and architecture throughout the sanctuary was beautiful.  I also went through the Museum of Contemporary Native Arts.  There were some amazing paintings on display.  After lunch I headed to the Georgia O'Keeffe museum.  I realized within five minutes of being there that I knew very little about her.  I learned so much about her development as an artist and her life with her husband and friends.  I also visited Loretto Chapel which has the miraculous staircase.  I learned there that choir lofts were often accessed by ladders because choirs were usually made up of men.  However, at Loretto Chapel the choir was made up of women and a staircase was necessary.  It's considered a miraculous staircase because it doesn't have a center support or side rails.  After a little more shopping I headed back to the hotel to relax for the evening.  I'm hoping to get an early start tomorrow so I'll be in bed early tonight.

The weather so far has been beautiful, albeit a little cool.  According to local meteorologists today is the coldest day of the month for Santa Fe and about fifteen degrees below normal.  It's been about 40 degrees today.  Other than being a little cool however, it was a beautiful day.  The skies are a glorious blue and the sun has been shining brightly all day.  Below I've included some pictures from my visits today.  If you've not been here, I would definitely recommend it as a vacation spot!

Through the dust

One of my favorite young adult books is Out of the Dust by Karen Hesse.  If you've not read it, I would highly recommend it, especially if you've ever lived in Oklahoma.  It's written from a young girl's point of view and it's about her family's survival of the Dust Bowl in 1934-1935.  My drive today reminded me of that book.  While I'm certain the blowing dust I experienced today is only a fraction of what the Dust Bowl was really like, I imagine it was somewhat reminiscent of that time.  The air was hazy and brown, the strong gusts blew cars and trucks around on the highway.  My one stop in the midst of the dust left the taste of dirt in my mouth and had me blowing my nose.  My drive time was most certainly lengthened by the high wind and dust.  The workers at the visitor center said the high wind was due to the snow storm happening in Arizona.

These two pictures are exactly how my drive from I-40 to Santa Fe went.  I was the only person on the road for the longest time.  If I didn't trust my maps, GPS and instinct I would have thought I was going the wrong way!  It was a very quiet drive.

Before leaving Amarillo today I indulged in a stop at Barnes and Noble and as I confessed to my dad,  have a sickness.  I'm obsessed with books.  I bought a few more today that I am excited to read.  There are so many books and so little time!  I'm sure doing my best to read as much as possible!

I stopped briefly at the New Mexico visitors center as I crossed the border and picked up maps and visitors guides.  I'll peruse those tonight and see what priorities I want to make for tomorrow.  I'm already intrigued by the interesting architecture, narrow streets and quaint feel of the city.  I'm in the downtown area within walking distance of several places.  I absolutely love the arts, performance, visual, music, you name it!  I'm looking forward to going to the Georgia O'Keeffe museum tomorrow.  I have no doubt there will be more to do here than I can do in the time I've allotted, so I'm sure there will be a return trip.  But for today, it's another state for me to add to my list of those visited!

Peaceful mornings

What is it about the quiet of the morning that brings so much peace?  The quiet of the evening doesn't hold the same serenity for me as the morning does.  I love to begin the day by sitting quietly, letting that tranquility and stillness surround me and infuse me.  I'm starting today with a rested, peaceful feeling.  I've not felt rested in weeks, so it's nice to wake up with a clear mind without rushing to greet the day.  Rushing in the morning makes me feel as though I should rush through the rest of the day...and those that know me well know that I do not like to be rushed!  Being rushed causes stress and anxiety for me.  I need to find a way to continue these peaceful mornings when I get home.

One of my favorite television shows is Criminal Minds.  I love the writing, word choice and delivery from the actors.  The famous quotes at the beginning and end of the show are tidbits of wisdom that are comforting, intriguing and often make me smile.  In the tenth episode of season two the profilers are interviewing a suspected terrorist and Mandy Patinkin's character says "We gain comfort from our prayers."  Too often I forget that.  My dad is the best prayer writer that I know.  I am always blessed when I'm lucky enough to be in town on a Sunday that he leads a prayer at church.  His eloquent words, thoughtful phrases and heartfelt content bring tears to my eyes, even now as I reflect on those prayers.  I can't write like he does or share my thoughts in the articulate and expressive way that he does, so I googled to find a prayer that would fit my current circumstance.  I shudder to think of what I would do without google!  What I found is an accurate description of where I am and words to help me express where I want to be.  It's a blessing for me...perhaps it will bless you too.

Heavenly Father, please grant me peace of mind and calm my troubled heart.  My soul is like a turbulent sea. I can't seem to find my balance so I stumble and worry constantly.  Give me the strength and clarity of mind to find my purpose and walk the path you've laid out for me.  I trust Your love God, and know that you will heal this stress.  Just as the sun rises each day against the dark of night.  Please bring me clarity with the light of God.  In Your name I pray, Amen.

First stop...school??

If you're reading my facebook posts, you know that my first stop today was school.  Since I live at school more than I live at home my coat and fleece pullover were both in my classroom.  Since I'm not sure about the weather in Colorado, I figured I needed both so I had to stop there and pick them up.

I left there and went to Oklahoma City where I stopped for lunch at Cracker Barrel.  I like country cooking.  When I was growing up in Norman my family went to a country cooking restaurant called Po' Folks.  I loved that place...the best were the biscuits with honey!  I have no idea if it's still there, but eating biscuits with my green beans today made me think of that.  I also picked up another audio book which I listened to all the way to Amarillo, TX which is where I am tonight.  I've never driven west of OKC on I-40 and if you've never done it, let me tell you it's very flat.  Flat with little to get in the way of seeing the horizon.  It's beautiful in it's own way.

I stopped at an Indian Trading Post on the highway this afternoon and saw some gorgeous pottery and sand paintings!  It was an antiques and art gallery and I enjoyed my time there.  I bought a Christmas ornament that's handmade with a boot on it.  My ornaments all have a cowboy theme to them so this one will fit right in. Although, putting it up at all will require me not to be bah humbug about the holidays like I was this past year.

I'm settled in for the night and will set off again tomorrow after lunch.  I saw a Barnes and Noble down the road that I'll likely stop at before leaving town.  I have BN withdrawals living in Stillwater!

I have amazing support

Since I started posting my upcoming trip on facebook I've had so many people offering suggestions of where to go, places to stay while I'm on the road and many well wishes for my journey.  All of the comments and support from family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances have warmed my heart and made me smile.  Thank you!!  My friend Lucinda recommended a theme song...Dierks Bentley's Free and Easy Down the Road I Go was her very appropriate suggestion.  I just might have to play it more than once while I'm driving.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_-V3LPS_TY&ob=av2e

A new journey

I've never been a blogger.  I've read the blogs of friends and family but have never embarked on blogging myself.  I don't have children that do cute things, or a job that allows me to travel to exotic places.  My life doesn't have the element of excitement that makes for good reading.  My upcoming trip has changed my mind, at least temporarily.

The last eight months have been very tumultuous and trying for me.  I've made and lost friends.  I've experienced struggles and challenges that have left me questioning everything about my life and have shaken me to the core.  I've felt very hurt and misunderstood.  This upcoming trip is as much about escape, relaxation and adventure as it is about finding healing and peace.  I'm hoping this blog will provide some accountability as well as perhaps allow me to be a little better understood.

I've said before that I don't set goals.  I use that as a sort of personal protection.  If I don't set it, then I can't fail at achieving it.  That being said, I have a couple of things I'd like to achieve to which this trip will get me a little closer.  I would like to eventually visit all 50 states.  As of today I've visited 22.  If I go the route I've been rolling around in my head for the last few days I will add two states to that list.  The second goal that I have is to visit all of the presidential libraries.  There are currently twelve and a half (George W's isn't finished) and I've been to two.  I am planning to go to another one toward the end of this trip.

The next week will be an interesting one, but I am determined to relax, let things go and live by the words....it's all about the journey.