"We are the change that we seek."

I told you a long time ago that I had discovered that I had become my own pet peeve. I was complaining about things that were within my power to change. That's a pet peeve of mine...when people complain about things that are totally within their power to change. I had become that pet peeve, complaining about a multitude of things that I could change if I put some effort into it. I told you shortly afterwards, that a lot was getting ready to change for me and a lot has. I've been empowered by the following quote from President Barack Obama...

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time.

We are the ones we've been waiting for.  We are the change we seek."

I am the change that I seek and I'm taking control of that in a new way. I have a new job. I'm living in a new city. I have a new church. I've bought new furniture. I'm changing the decorations in my house. Whether the changes are major or minor, I'm in a very different place today than I was when I began this blog. I'm still having trouble being more outgoing, but I'm working on it.

The next change that I'm going to begin making is one regarding my health. I need to lose weight. I've battled weight issues for several years. Sometimes I care about it and other times I couldn't care less. (By the way the phrase is "couldn't care less" If you could care less, it must not be a big deal!) Like most other people who battle weight issues, I've tried a variety of diets. The one that has worked best for me is weight watchers so that is what I'll go back to, hopefully this week.

The decision to make an effort to do something about my weight comes largely from some medical problems that I've begun experiencing. I've worn glasses since the fifth grade. As eye sight does, mine has gotten slightly worse as I've gotten older. Until now all of the problems I've had could be corrected with glasses. I went last week to my eye doctor in Stillwater. He's an excellent doctor and has always been very thorough with me. He handles well what he can and if I'm having a problem that he cannot address he doesn't hesitate to refer me for further evaluation.

My appointment last week was not quite what I had expected. I knew my glasses prescription wasn't working any more. I have to work to see and read; reading from a distance is very difficult. What I thought would happen is that I would go in for a routine eye exam and leave after placing an order for new glasses. Unfortunately I have a problem with my right eye that glasses cannot correct. After running several tests last Friday, I was asked to return Tuesday for additional tests. Tuesday included dilation and a field vision test. Between the two appointments I was tested for cataracts, glaucoma, macular degeneration and a variety of other things. The results so far have shown that I have two blind spots in the field of vision of my right eye. There's one in the center near my pupil and one at the bottom left near my nose. Testing also showed that the cause of the blindness is not related to my cornea, retina or the front part of my optic nerve. Everything that my optometrist can find looks healthy. That being said, there is something causing the blind spots. My optometrist believes that it could be optic neuritis. That, like many other things, can be a diagnosis all it's own or it can be a symptom of bigger things. The next step from here for me is to see a neuro-opthalmologist for more testing. If the problem is the nerve, there may be neurological implications.

You may be wondering what my losing weight has to do with my vision issues. It is very likely that my vision issues are a symptom of bigger things. The bigger things that are possibilities both require weight loss and better physical shape as part of treatment; other than it just being more healthy for me in general. The next few weeks and months will be very telling. There will be doctor's visits and tests to hopefully get to the bottom of the blind spots. In the meantime, I'll work on my next life change.

I've never been good at change, but the more things change the more comfortable I get with it. I want to be happier and healthier and I know that's not going to happen over night. It is going to take continued work and effort on my part. It is a challenge I'm ready to face. I'll have to depend on my faith, family, friends and internal motivation to make all of the changes that I need to make, but my journey is making me a better me!