I've been told by many that I can't understand parenthood or the fullness of life if I am not a parent. Those are the words that resonated in my head this morning when I finished her message. All I could think is that I am not equipped to respond to her. I have no words to give this grieving mother. She is clearly still hurting and I don't know what to say to her. All day I prayed for wisdom. I prayed that God speak through me and allow my words to show His peace.
I wrote her back a few minutes ago and I am not certain that I accomplished what my prayers desired. My comments were those I'm sure she's heard from other people in the last four months. I didn't have any original words for her. We're not close, she and I. We have a good working relationship, but we're not friends. I wanted to share the peace that I believe God can bring without crossing lines of separation of church and state. I wanted to comfort her while acknowledging that I can't know what she's feeling. I'm not sure if I as successful with any of those things. My prayer now is that she see that God is more than adequate even when I am inadequate.
I found part of a eulogy that Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered in 1963 that says what I would have liked to have said to this teacher. I didn't share it with her, but I wanted to share it with you.
Now I say to you in conclusion,
life is hard,
at times as hard as crucible steel.
It has its bleak and difficult moments.
Like the ever-flowing waters of the river,
life has its moments of drought and its moments of flood.
Like the ever-changing cycle of the seasons,
life has the soothing warmth of its summers
and the piercing chill of its winters.
But if one will hold on,
he will discover that God walks with him,
and that God is able to lift you from the fatigue of despair
to the buoyancy of hope
and transform dark and desolate valleys
into sunlit paths of inner peace.
Kristen, even those of us who are parents, would not have known exactly what to say to her. (and whoever said to you that you can't understand parenthood or the fullness of life is a moron!) I reached out to a friend two years ago who had lost her only son in a car accident. I felt inadequate, and prayed that God would put the right words into my mouth. Bottom line, all we, those of us who have never lost a child, can do is allow God to use us to deliver the message He would want said. Sometimes, that message is simply, "I know you're hurting, I have no words of wisdom, but I care".
ReplyDeleteYou did the right thing acknowledging her grief, that may have been the only thing she really wanted. My guess is that you touched her in a far greater way that you'll ever realize.
Love you, girl, keep on being you, that's all God wants from you!