It's football season!!

Tomorrow is the first Saturday of this season of college football and I'm excited.  I have many memories at which football is the center.  I grew up attending Arkansas Razorbacks games with my grandfather.  In fact I've been to more U of A sporting events than any other school, including the ones I've attended.  I remember going to OU's media day as a kid and being excited that I had my picture taken with then quarterback Cale Gundy.  I went to high school in Alabama, which is in many ways the football capital of the south.  (No offense intended to my friends in other southern states.)  I spent every Friday night of football season in my high school band at the game.

My varied experience with and love of football makes me a fan of the game, before I'm a fan of a specific team.  My philosophy is the same about professional sports, I'm a fan of the game or specific players before a specific team.  My television will be tuned in to whatever game I can get every Saturday between now and the end of the season.

I will always pull for my alma mater first.  I love to watch OSU football games and yes, I will pull for them over OU during Bedlam.  Outside of that however, my allegiance is mixed.  These are kids.  I think that really hit after I spent time as an adjunct instructor for OSU.  These are kids playing a game that in a lot of ways our society has turned into a business.  I understand the financial aspect of the college football industry, but I don't let that influence my allegiance as a fan.

My facebook posts will likely include RTR (Roll Tide Roll), War Eagle, WPS (Whoo Pig Sooie), Boomer Sooner and Go Pokes throughout various times of the season.  Hey...you might even see a Gig 'Em once or twice.  That's because I love the game.  I don't trash other teams or conferences.  I don't root for teams to lose or players to be injured.  That's just wrong, on so many levels.

I'll make chili, pop popcorn and indulge in other tailgate food throughout the season, hopefully with friends and family, in the spirit of enjoying the game.  I'm ready for football!!

A Medical Update

I told you a few weeks ago that I was having vision issues and that I was going to have tests and such, but I never came back and explained any more.  I've had a few questions recently so I thought I should tell you what's going on.  The vision issues in my right eye, coupled with a variety of additional symptoms suggested that have MS.  My doctor decided to pursue that avenue first and a few weeks ago I went in for an MRI of my brain.  This was about two weeks after I had moved to Enid.

I went back to Stillwater for the MRI and it came back having no abnormalities.  To get a second opinion I had my results and scans sent to my friend Liz who is a neurologist in Wyoming.  She said my brain is good and there is no indication of MS, which I'm told can be seen clearly on an MRI if is it present.  So that was good, but it still leaves me with vision problems.  Because everything on the front part of my eye is healthy and normal, my doctor believes that the problem is with my optic nerve, which is why MS was a consideration.  Optic neuritis is often found in MS patients.  While that is ruled out, the problem with my nerve still has not been identified.  I am scheduled to see a neuro-opthamologist in Oklahoma City in the month of October.  In the mean time I have periodic follow-up appointments with my optometrist to monitor any changes in my eye sight.

I still am working on losing weight just because it's an important thing to do.  I fell off the wagon (so to speak) a week or so ago, so I'm working to climb back on, but overall at this point I've lost 12 pounds.  Still have more to go of course, but hopefully I can get back on track soon.

For those that have asked, I appreciate your thoughtfulness and prayers.

Song of the Summer

For me, one of the best things about summer is the music that pumps through the speakers.  I remember specific summers in high school by the music that blared out of my little red Ford Tempo's windows.  I vividly remember my friend Jennifer and I cruising the streets of Huntsville, AL singing along with the Fugees and TLC at the top of our lungs.  This summer Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe was the song of the summer for a lot of people.  It took over youtube and inspired athletes to dance.  Definitely a catchy tune that makes listeners want to move their feet, but for me, the song of the summer is a much slower song by Thompson Square.  Much like Kelly Clarkson's Stronger the story of the entire song doesn't apply to my circumstance.  The song is about taking a chance on a romantic relationship, which doesn't apply to me.  But if I take the relationship part of it out and consider that it's about taking chances in general, the message does apply to me.  I love the chorus...

We may shine, we may shatter

We may be pickin' up the pieces here on after

We are fragile, we are human

We are shaped by the light we let through us

But we break fast, cause we are glass.

When I was a kid, I remember going to Frontier City in Oklahoma City.  One of the first buildings you used to walk past was the glassblower.  You could watch through the window as he or she used heat and air to create figurines.  I was mesmerized by the process occurring through the window.  In high school chemistry I got my chance to work with heat and glass.  My junior year, I remember having a lab in which we were supposed  to make a right angle out of a short tube of glass.  I didn't do well on that assignment because my glass didn't make a perfect right angle and when cooled and laid flat on the counter, one end was higher than the other causing the piece to be unbalanced.  I remember being thankful that I got any grade at all however, because several students dropped their glass, shattering it, and getting an F for the project.

With cooler temperatures today, the true mark of fall, college football, just two weeks away and school either already having started or starting this week, today has felt more like fall.  It has prompted me to spend a good bit of time today reflecting on my summer.  I took a lot of chances and made a lot of changes at a time that they had to happen, but that I was probably too fragile to make them happen.  My choice to share myself in this forum added transparency to that fragility and I've felt a lot like glass.  At times I want to tell people, "be gentle...I'm fragile."  But at the same time, too much fragility suggests weakness and it's taken a lot of strength to turn my life upside down the way that I have this summer.

I'm beginning to shine, although I may still shatter.  I'm still picking up pieces from before.  I'm still fragile, I'm definitely human.  I am allowing myself to be shaped by God's light that moves through me.  I'm still glass, but  am transitioning from being the small figurine variety to the bullet proof variety.  I've done a better job with that transition in my professional life than anywhere else.  I'm still fragile when it comes to my personal and spiritual life, that's going to take time and most of the time it's a day to day thing.  The difference between now and six months ago, however, is that now I have faith that I'll survive a shatter.

I'm not bowing to challenges!

"A challenge only becomes an obstacle when you bow to it."

- Ray Davis

My week has been full of challenges!  If you've read my facebook posts, you know that my Monday morning started out with an encounter with a horse.  I was unloading my car in front of the school where we were presenting and had my back to Main street.  My partner says, "Huh, look at that."  I turned around in time to find myself face to face with a saddled horse that was missing its rider.  I was so startled that I screamed and the horse took off at a trot down Main Street.  About thirty seconds later a woman on a bicycle, talking on her cell phone came riding behind the horse clearly trying to catch the run away.  It was a hilarious sight and it made my morning!

This week was full of back to back presentations.  Each presentation began with the basics of Common Core State Standards and was followed by personalization requested by the local administration.  We presented how to use and design rubrics, how to apply cognitive learning theory in the classroom and how to reflect on the types of questions we ask students to answer.  Every stop presented its own challenges.  We had a web-based video that was a part of our presentation, but that didn't always work out, either because of firewalls, filters or a lack of audio equipment.  In one place we didn't have any AV capability so powerpoint was not an option at all.  We missed an entire presentation one afternoon due to my flat tire.  Wednesday afternoon dealt us our biggest challenge however, because that was the day my partner fell.

My partner and I have gone everywhere together.  It's worked out very well that we've been able to stay together, because there are other coaching partnerships that have not had that capability.  We've been able to prep together, speak together and clean up together.  On Wednesday Carri fell and fractured her elbow which meant I had to fly solo Thursday morning.

I got to our Thursday location and had a new set of challenges.  We design our presentations to be interactive and to include engaging activities in the midst of the time we spend talking.  One of the activities required inflated balloons, which were in my partners car, so I swung by the store on the way to the school to pick up a package of balloons that I needed to blow up before starting.  As I set up the room for my presentation things were going pretty smoothly until I plugged my jump drive into the computer and I had used a newer version of powerpoint than was available on this computer.  We'd presented in several places before this and hadn't run into that so I didn't expect to run into it there, but one of the faculty members graciously volunteered to convert it for me.  As all conversions go however, it wasn't totally smooth.  The conversion deleted graphics, changed animation and jumbled slides.  A few other minor challenges presented themselves throughout the three hour presentation, but overall I felt as though it went well.

I told Carri earlier this week that this job does not feel like work.  I log just as many hours as I did before, but I love my job so much that it is an absolute joy to work.  I found my niche!  I've found that place where I feel like I was meant to be.  I have a great partner and we're part of a great team around this state.  We're on the cutting edge of something big in this state.  I can't wait to see what comes next...challenges and all!

Tuesday is NOT my day for cars!!

Two weeks ago (on a Tuesday) in Oklahoma City my car decided not to start and thanks to my cousin coming to the rescue I was able to get the car to Auto Zone and put in a new battery.  Today it was my tire.

My partner and I had a tight schedule today.  We left one city at 11:30 and had to be in another city at 12:30 and the drive in between was about 40 minutes.  As we were packing my car to leave our first stop it began to rain.  Thank goodness for the rain because we definitely need it!  Since we had a little bit of time, we decided to stop at Pizza Hut and have the salad bar for lunch.  By the time we left after eating, the rain was coming down in a steady downpour.  It wasn't storming, but just a good soaking rain.  Somewhere between our lunch stop and twenty minutes down the road, I managed to get a flat tire.

I've changed flats before.  I've even changed a flat in dress clothes before, but it's been a while.  Since we weren't going to make it to our next stop on time, my partner called to tell them of our trouble.  The secretary said she would get in touch with their transportation person and have him come help us.  We were only five miles away so they weren't going to have to come far to find us.  Not to mention it was a two lane highway and we were the only stopped vehicle around...finding us wasn't going to be a hardship.  Since help was on the way, I got out and started rearranging the stuff in the back of the car so that I could get to the spare.  It had rained long enough and was continuing to rain so I was getting quite wet and my shoes (which I may have to consider trashing) were sinking in the very squishy mud.

While waiting on the transportation person from the school district that was waiting on us to come speak to them, a gentleman who works for Alfalfa County drove up behind us and asked if we needed help.  I told him that we had called someone but that I wasn't sure when they were going to be there exactly so I was trying to get to my spare.  He kindly changed my tire in the rain.  I stood watching him, thankful that he was willing to help.  I am capable of changing a tire, but not as practiced as some so it probably would have taken me longer than it took our Good Samaritan.  We were close to in business, he was lowering the jack, my partner was telling the district that we would be there by 1:30 and then the other shoe dropped.  My spare was flat. I've never had a flat tire on this car before.  The jack and spare were being used for the first time today, but that doughnut sure was missing some air!!

So it was Good Samaritan to the rescue again.  He called the County Commissioner for Alfalfa County to see about sending someone out with an air compressor.  It just so happens that my partner is married to one of the County Commissioners for Garfield County, so when the Alfalfa County Commissioner found out a colleague's wife was on the side of the road there was a little heckling, but he very promptly sent us a second gentleman who kindly filled my spare with air.

When my partner told the administrator that was waiting on us that the spare was flat he said...sounds like you girls should just work out your problems, we can re-schedule.  We felt really badly about the missed engagement, but it wasn't something we could help.  The school was understanding and we certainly appreciate that.  By the time we drove away from our tire changing spot, we were both pretty soaked and my shoes and feet were muddy.  We made it back to town, going forty miles an hour, and I took my car in to Hibdon to have them see about possibly repairing or if needed replacing my tire.

We were only alone on the side of the road for a few minutes before our first Good Samaritan arrived.  I am blessed to have the skills to deal with problems like that, but I'm also blessed to live in a place where citizens are ready to help.  I've learned a lot about the position of County Commissioner in the last few weeks and I'm sure I'll learn more.  I also know that I'll be paying closer attention when I vote for that office now that I know what they do!

We're back on the road tomorrow, in my partner's car this time, every day is an adventure, and I wouldn't trade a single thing!  Including my rain soaked, flat tire experience!

A roller coaster ride

The first time I rode a real roller coaster I was eighteen.  I went to Six Flags over Georgia in Atlanta for our senior trip.  I imagine there were other groups of seniors that went more exotic places, but for me it was Six Flags over Georgia.  For those that don't know, I went to high school in Alabama and Atlanta is only about four hours from my hometown at the time.  I was a total chicken in high school.  Not that I'm any sort of adventure seeker now, but believe it or not I'm better than I was!  I remember checking the safety bar multiple times to make sure I wasn't going to fly out of that little car.  I remember keeping my eyes wide open, no way was I going through that thing blind!  I don't remember screaming, I imagine I reserved my air for the laborious breathing, some would call it hyperventilating, I was doing.  

What I learned about roller coasters is they really aren't so bad.  I didn't mind flying around a curve upside down, the car went too fast for me to even realize I was upside down.  After riding multiple roller coasters, I've discovered I like cars that hang (where the track is above you) as opposed to cars on the track, because they are smoother, and I felt safer.  I haven't been to a theme park in years, so it's been a while since I've felt those stomach dropping, dizzying moments of being out of control.  Although I'm pretty sure some of my experiences this last week could rival the Batman Roller Coaster from the summer of 1997.

This last week I began my first week of presentations in my region.  I had three very different experiences at three very different schools.  I was welcomed with open arms, held at arms length until the staff decided I wasn't too bad and was shown the door, figuratively speaking, by select faculty members at one school.  I knew when I took this job, that I would encounter teachers and schools with varying levels of reception, so I wasn't surprised necessarily by my week.  Certainly though, the emotional roller coaster was challenging.

I'm gearing up tonight, to start that journey again tomorrow.  Over the next four days I have six presentations of varying topics.  While the primary subject will be Common Core, the angle that each presentation takes varies depending on the needs of the school.  In some places we're just presenting an overview, in other places I've been challenged by the administration to present Bloom's Taxonomy.  Since my primary goal as a presenter is to be engaging and relevant, my skills will be seriously put to the test as I make a fifty year old learning theory interesting and applicable to current legislative initiatives.  In case you're curious, I'll be presenting this information three times in three places, you're welcome to come listen.  :)

My other major task this week was to establish a website.  My partner and I share several web resources during the course of our presentations.  Rather than providing teachers with a lengthy list of web addresses that likely will not get used, I created a webpage where all of those links are in one place.  Attached to that is the blog that I started for my teachers.  Both are works in progress, but I hope you'll visit both places and provide feedback for me as I work to make them better.

I've already started clicking up the track and at 7:00 tomorrow morning I'll take that first huge drop into a new week.  I'm still finding my feet in my new position, and I'm still not the most adventurous, but the way things are working out so far I'm going to be a regular passenger on figurative roller coasters!

Alone in a Crowd

Have you ever looked around a room, knowing you're surrounded by people but feeling invisible or unseen? I've been in that place a lot.  I've had people look at me without really seeing me.  Part of that is my responsibility because of my extreme anxiety in social situations.  I can speak about professional topics to rooms of hundreds without fear, but attending a party, fellowship or other social gathering is terrifying for me.      I have moments where I pray that no one will notice or talk to me so that I don't stutter and embarrass myself.  I have other moments where I pray someone will speak to me first so that I don't have to figure out how to make my feet move to approach them.  I have no doubt that my body language and facial expressions send unintentional messages.  I imagine my fear to some looks like anger or another unapproachable emotion.  It's paralyzing fear I tell you!  My friend Kallie can tell you about a graduation party I helped her throw.  My sister can tell you about the moments of deep breathing that were needed for me to get out of the car and go into a party with her.  Other friends and family would have similar stories I imagine.

When I moved to Enid I made the conscious choice to be a different person in a lot of ways.  One of which is that I decided that I was tired of being fearful and that I needed to find enough confidence to make friends.  I have no doubt that part of my struggle to find a church and friends in Stillwater was the paralyzing fear that I allowed to take over.  It took people like Kallie to see fear instead of something unapproachable and help me get over some of that.  

This morning our Bible class and sermon both centered around building relationships and being involved in a community.  It was another example of God's timing for me.  I needed to be reminded that the purpose of the church is to build relationships.  During the sermon the preacher mentioned that one can only have 8-10 intimate relationships at one time.  I've thought about that a lot since he mentioned it.  How many of my relationships would I really call intimate?  How many people do I truly allow to know me?

For me church has often felt like a place you go to find out which rule you broke this time.  A place where people judge.  A place where people around me demonstrate how much better they are at life than I am.  When I found North Garland, I found a place that doesn't feel that way.  I've found a place where everyone around me is growing with me.  I am greeted each time I walk through the door.  People regularly tell me they are glad I'm there.  It's a place I look forward to being.

I'm getting better at not being as fearful.  I've participated in Bible class discussion and try to introduce myself to one new person each time I'm there.  It's not comfortable for me and most of the time it takes all that I can muster, but it's getting better.  I'm still alone in the crowd, changing that is going to take a while, but I'm in a place and with people who are striving to see the unseen.  I am a member of a body of believers who are looking to ensure that no one is alone in a crowd.

Training Week 1

It's been an amazing, enriching and exhausting week!  Each month for one week I go to Oklahoma City for training.  My training this week had three main topics.  I spent two days listening to professionals from the state department of education.  They informed us of the latest changes that educators need to know about from their various offices and their initiatives for the coming year.  I spent another very full day learning about Common Core from K20.  I then spent two days in LETRS training.  LETRS is literacy training done through Sopris West.  It is rigorous and intense, but also informative and rewarding.  Our focus during these two days was Early Childhood Literacy, birth to age six.  I've studied Early Childhood Literacy before, but there is always more to learn!  The LETRS training materials were written by a speech pathologist so there were a lot of intense sections of articulation and language strategies.  There are twelve modules in addition to Early Childhood and Foundations, so there will be a lot more to come!  I'm enjoying every bit of it.

I've always loved professional development.  I have always attended as many conferences, webinars and workshops as my bank account could afford.  The value and research base of professional development is as important to me as the topic.  My training this week was fantastic in that respect.  All of the strategies and theories presented are steeped in research.  At the end of LETRS training I will have the option to take module tests to become a trainer and may possibly be able to gain graduate credit as well.  That is a path I'm certainly planning to take.

All of our meetings this week were held at the state capital.  This is the north side of the capital building.  We had one meeting for which we had to walk to the Hodge building which is in the capital complex, but not attached to the capital itself.  The Hodge building, along with others, is on the north side of the capital.  We parked in the visitor section and went through the House entrance which are located on the south and east sides of the capital.  I got very good at going through security quickly by the end of the week!

Speaking of the House of Representatives, our meetings on Monday and half of the day on Wednesday were held on the House floor.  I felt so important sitting in the chamber!  It was interesting to watch tour groups come through and walk in the gallery over our heads.  I'm sure they were surprised to look down and see sixty five women, especially since Congress is not in session right now.  

I briefly, only for a photo, stood at the podium at the front of the room.  This is my partner Carri.  She's from Waukomis, just south of Enid.  We're working together to provide resources and professional development for twenty-two districts in our area.

Most of our time this week was spent in the Governor's Blue Room.  This is the room where the Governor holds press conferences.  Although I'm sure there are several events and meetings held in this room.  There is a large podium at the front of the room and a grand piano in the back.  All of the coaches (with our TONS of stuff) were spread out and milling around when I took this picture, so it's more the walls and ceiling than the main part of the room.  We were told today that Governor Fallin has given us permission to use this room every time we're in town, so I'll be seeing this one again!

The other meeting room we were in this week was a House of Representatives Conference room.  There are several conference rooms.  The one we were in has this mural at the front of the room which honors fallen soldiers.  This room was more narrow, but very comfortable.  Our presenter actually passed out during training.  Security and paramedics were called to help her.  It was believed at first to be a seizure, but after being treated and released from the hospital we were told it was a combination of medication and exhaustion that caused her to pass out.  She recovered and was able to provide some of our training today.

Next time I'm there I'll have to take a picture of the rotunda.  All of our meals were served in the rotunda.  What a sight to look up from your table and see the artwork on the dome!  Speaking of art work, that is how I kept track of where I was in the capital.  Each floor looks about the same.  The rotunda is in the middle with essentially four wings off of that center.  It is easy to get disoriented and turned around.  I used various artwork to help me know which wings were which.  It kept me from getting lost while allowing me to enjoy the aesthetics of a beautiful building!

We were housed in a conference inn downtown.  It isn't a hotel, so there were amenities that you would find in a hotel that we didn't have, but I was safe, had hot water, a bed to sleep in and air conditioning.  We were told that when legislators are in town, they often stay in the same conference center.  It's only about a ten minute drive from the inn to the capital.  By day three I figured out how to get to and from the capital without making circles...yay me!

Most evenings I returned to my room and read, did word searches or watched DVDs on my computer.  Wednesday night however I went to Alameda Church of Christ in Norman.  I grew up going to that church and appreciated the invitation from a friend to attend with her family.  The goal Wednesday night was to pack backpacks for their back to school bash that is this weekend.  The backpacks and supplies will be distributed to families in need.  It was a great way to see old friends, do a service project and get out of my room for an evening.  Since I'm in OKC for a week each month, I'm hoping to connect with other friends on later trips.

I'll be headed back August 27th for another five days.  I have three weeks in Enid.  For two of those weeks I have back to back days of training scheduled that I will be providing for local districts.  I'm excited to start meeting teachers and getting to know them.  I'm blessed to have an amazing job, a strong, faith-based team and incredible leaders.  It is going to be a jam-packed and busy year, but I'm going to love every minute!