Finding the Courage to Go it Alone

For many years I've been filled with pride for my family and friends who strike out on their own. I believe it takes a tremendous amount of courage to go it alone. To stand at a crossroads and choose a path that you may very well walk alone takes bravery. It takes courage to choose to take the path less traveled, words repeated often due to Robert Frost's poem, "The Road Not Taken."


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


I've known many people over the years who have chosen a path that takes courage. My dad is in private practice because of his courage. My mom showed great courage when she went back to school with four children at home to pursue her love of helping people and complete her degree in nursing. It has taken great courage for my brother, Ryan, to travel solo to countries all over the world. It took courage for my sister, Kayla, to move to New York City by herself to pursue her dream of working in fashion merchandising and marketing. My brother Justin displayed great courage when he chose a state university rather than the smaller universities my other family members have attended. Countless other friends and family have shown courage in career choices, single parenting, medical challenges, missions of faith and every day Christian walks.

Beyond those large displays of courage, however, I've begun to think it takes courage to be alone in the day to day activities of life. I've been single a long time. While I have a loving family with whom I can spend holidays and birthdays, there are plenty of opportunities for me to be alone. Only recently have I acknowledged to myself that it takes a courage similar to choosing the road less traveled to be secure in being single.  I too possess the quality of courage that I've seen in so many others.

It takes courage for me to walk into a restaurant to eat by myself. There are restaurants in which it is totally acceptable to dine alone...generally they have a drive through. Delis and coffee shops with free-wifi are acceptable places to dine alone because they can be transformed into work environments with laptops or books. I've dined alone in nicer restaurants however and received many looks of confusion, pity or some other undetermined emotion. If I go alone often the extra chairs are pulled for other tables and I end up sitting in the only chair left at the table...it looks very odd, let me tell you.

It takes courage for me to go to sporting events alone. Typically I don't have the looks or stares in a sports venue that I've had in restaurants. As long as the event is packed I'm not typically noticed. I do not go to my students' sporting events alone however, because I'm afraid it will make me appear creepy. That's probably the result of me watching too many cop shows on TV.

Going to the movies alone doesn't bother me. That's probably because the lights are off. I've not found the courage for going to stage theater performances or concerts alone, but I'm working on it. Going to a museum alone doesn't bother me, many people go to tourist locations by themselves. There are some awkward moments but I've discovered that if I purchase the audio tour option to go with the walking tour, the awkwardness goes away.

I've had "friends" end our friendship because they are married and I'm not or because they have children and I don't. I've had people apologize to me for the fact that I'm single...no lie...that happens at church more than anywhere else. I don't tell you all of this to foster pity or garner sympathy from my readers, I am content in my circumstance.  I wanted to illustrate, however, the courage I think it takes to be alone. I've begun to recognize that it takes courage for me, and I believe courage for others, to face life by yourself.

I'm coming up on relocation to a city in which I know no one. My shyness and introverted tendencies make it very easy for me to go to work and come home without branching out to activities or events that require courage. From a faith perspective I should probably be in a place where I know God is with me always and I'm not really alone. I believe that faith is giving me the peace and courage to make this move, but either there's something lacking in my faith or there's something different about walking into a restaurant because that peace and courage doesn't always exist for me.

When I began this blog, I told you it was about my journey. My physical journey in a couple of weeks will include a moving truck and all of my personal possessions heading west on 412. I'm better at finding positive qualities and attributes in others than I am at finding them in myself. In my personal journey however I'm working on that. I'm working on acknowledging the things about myself that are admirable and patting myself on the back for even the smallest steps I may take toward being a better version of me. This move is an opportunity for me to be anyone I want to be. I can re-invent myself, change the things I don't like and accentuate the things I love. It is an opportunity I'm embracing...one courageous step at a time.