This is how I pack...

If you've known me for a long time you know that I have some Obsessive Compulsive tendencies. I've never been formally diagnosed with OCD and I could totally be inappropriately self-diagnosing. Most people just know me as "anal" or "picky." What I know about myself is that I can manage my anxiety if I can prepare and be organized on the front end. The picture above shows how I'm packing this time. I say "this time" because the last time I moved my house and classroom at the same time I did it a little differently. I learned from my mistakes and tweaked my system.

Each box or piece of furniture gets a colored tag. Each color is specific to a room. The living room is light blue, bedroom #1 is lime green, etc. The yellow tags are special instructions -- fragile, this end up, etc. There is space at the bottom of each tag for me to write the contents of the box. If I can have my ducks in a row early enough I'll put a coordinating colored tag on the doors at my new house to identify which bedroom is which and where the boxes and furniture should go. I'm not above drawing a floor plan! I have several people who are coming to help me unload the moving truck and I want things to go as smoothly as possible. I realize I can't control everything, but that's not going to stop me from trying!

The other reason for all of the planning and preparation is to make the loading process as efficient as possible. Moving is incredibly expensive. It's way more expensive this time than it was the last time I moved. Part of that is distance, but just hiring people to come load the truck I've rented is twice what I paid three years ago. At over one hundred dollars an hour and a two hour minimum, it's costing me over $200 minimum, just to load the truck. That doesn't include truck rental, fuel or any other moving expense I haven't discovered yet. That being the case, I am bound and determined not to have these movers for any more than the minimum. I'm hoping if I have everything organized and work the night before the movers come to load some of the boxes, then perhaps I can keep the movers at two hours.

I truly started packing late yesterday afternoon. In some ways I've been preparing to move for several weeks, by cleaning out and selling items that I'm not using any more. Yesterday was when I really started packing. As of tonight I have completely packed my guest room (including taking the twin bed apart...go me!) and have packed portions of my room, my office and my bathroom. Certainly there is a lot still left to do, but I feel good about where I'm at. If anyone would be willing to come pack my kitchen I will totally allow you to do so. That is a room I DO NOT enjoy packing!! So long as I can put my hot pink "kitchen" labels on the outside of the boxes, I'll let you pack the boxes however you'd like. Promise!

I'm a little tired and a little sore tonight. I've started to feel arthritis in my hands. Arthritis runs on both sides of my family. Historically, symptoms begin showing up in the thirties, I'm keeping with that pattern. I'll have to pace myself so that I'm not so tired by Friday that I can't be effective in loading the truck, but I think I'm on pace to do just fine.

Six days left in Stillwater...I have no doubt they will go fast!

Jehovah Jireh

The first time I remember hearing this name for God was one of my summers as an intern for Park Plaza Church of Christ in Tulsa, OK.  During the summers of 1999 and 2000 I was blessed to work for Maria Gee as the Children's Ministry Intern.  I learned so much from her about so many things.  I grew spiritually while trying to help children learn about the God that I serve.  I made friends for life and have memories to cherish always.  During a VBS lessons, or perhaps it was class or summer camp...I don't remember...Maria taught a lesson entitled Jehovah Jireh...the LORD will provide.

If your Bible is like mine it's a scrapbook in and of itself.  I've owned many Bibles in my lifetime, but there are two that I've used consistently.  I am blessed to have both of those in my home now.  The Bible I use most was given to me by my parents in 1995.  I keep it in a black, cloth case.  There are pockets in the case that hold treasures that I like to go back and look at every now and then.  There are remembrance fliers from family members' funerals, poems, sermon notes and Bible class handouts that date back as far as my time in middle school.  It's a time capsule of my spiritual walk.

One of the handouts in the the front pocket is a Names of God handout.  It clearly names Yahweh-Yireh, or Jehovah Jireh, as one of the names that I studied many years ago.  I don't remember studying it then, but I clearly remember it being a part of my internship experience.  I'd like to go back and study the names of God.  I think it's interesting and allows me to better understand Him.  Perhaps I'll find a book about it and add it to my newly established "Books to Read" journal.

Jehovah Jireh is the name that has stuck with me this week.  God has provided for me this week in a very substantial way.  If you've followed my facebook posts, or received my texts, you know that there have been some challenges with my new job.  My new job is dependent upon having a host district.  While the SDE is the organization that interviewed me and selected me for the position, my contract has to be written by a K-12 organization.  Welcome to federal funding initiatives in education!  My pay check and benefits have to be paid by a K-12 organization.  That means the SDE had to recruit a district in the Enid area to be the sponsor for my partner and I.  When I was initially offered the position I was told Chisholm Public Schools would be my sponsor.  Between that initial phone call and this past Tuesday, Chisholm changed their mind and several other districts also declined to participate in this program.  I don't know their reasoning.  There could be a number of reasons they declined to sponsor us, so I'll not speculate.

On Tuesday of this past week I received a message saying that a contract was still not in place and it was becoming a bleak situation.  I was hesitant to make the financial commitment of a lease without the contract in place so I postponed my Wednesday signing for a couple of days hoping that answers would be found by today.  I began fervently praying Tuesday night, prayed without ceasing on Wednesday, fasting most of Wednesday and Thursday to spend time in prayer about this situation.  Before Tuesday I had felt very peaceful and confident in my decisions surrounding this job.  I knew that God was opening doors for me and that my friends and prayer warriors were carrying me when I didn't have the faith or strength to take the steps on my own.  Thursday was my most challenging day.  I learned that morning that if a contract could not be secured I would be without a job and would be back to applying for postions.  I knew that if a solution was not found before my lease appointment on Friday that I would need to let the house go that I had worked so hard to find.  I cried, sat and stared and continued my prayers pleading with God to provide a sponsor and to bring me peace and tranquility in the midst of the storm.  When I laid down last night, early this morning really, my final prayer before drifting to sleep was a prayer for peace.

This morning God provided.  I woke with a peaceful heart and calm spirit.  Despite only sleeping about five hours I felt rested and clear-headed.  I knew upon waking that I could sign my lease without worry.  I knew that like He has all along, God would continue to open doors on this journey of mine.  On my way to Enid today I continued my prayers in the form of hymns.  I sang along with one of my worship CDs as I bolstered the courage to step out on faith.  During my drive I spoke with my partner who confirmed that we have a contract.  God provides!!  I will go Tuesday morning to sign the contract, so signing the lease today could still have been premature, however I was not alone.  I had Jehovah Jireh with me, calming my spirit and assuring me that He is in control.  My sister reminded me in my chaos on Wednesday that this is bigger than me and it takes the mighty Yahweh to control it.

Tonight I rejoice in the peace that I feel, the changes I'm making in my life and in the God that so generously provides.  I am a work in progress.  God is not finished with me yet.  I know that he will continue to be my Jehovah Jireh.

Finding the Courage to Go it Alone

For many years I've been filled with pride for my family and friends who strike out on their own. I believe it takes a tremendous amount of courage to go it alone. To stand at a crossroads and choose a path that you may very well walk alone takes bravery. It takes courage to choose to take the path less traveled, words repeated often due to Robert Frost's poem, "The Road Not Taken."


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


I've known many people over the years who have chosen a path that takes courage. My dad is in private practice because of his courage. My mom showed great courage when she went back to school with four children at home to pursue her love of helping people and complete her degree in nursing. It has taken great courage for my brother, Ryan, to travel solo to countries all over the world. It took courage for my sister, Kayla, to move to New York City by herself to pursue her dream of working in fashion merchandising and marketing. My brother Justin displayed great courage when he chose a state university rather than the smaller universities my other family members have attended. Countless other friends and family have shown courage in career choices, single parenting, medical challenges, missions of faith and every day Christian walks.

Beyond those large displays of courage, however, I've begun to think it takes courage to be alone in the day to day activities of life. I've been single a long time. While I have a loving family with whom I can spend holidays and birthdays, there are plenty of opportunities for me to be alone. Only recently have I acknowledged to myself that it takes a courage similar to choosing the road less traveled to be secure in being single.  I too possess the quality of courage that I've seen in so many others.

It takes courage for me to walk into a restaurant to eat by myself. There are restaurants in which it is totally acceptable to dine alone...generally they have a drive through. Delis and coffee shops with free-wifi are acceptable places to dine alone because they can be transformed into work environments with laptops or books. I've dined alone in nicer restaurants however and received many looks of confusion, pity or some other undetermined emotion. If I go alone often the extra chairs are pulled for other tables and I end up sitting in the only chair left at the table...it looks very odd, let me tell you.

It takes courage for me to go to sporting events alone. Typically I don't have the looks or stares in a sports venue that I've had in restaurants. As long as the event is packed I'm not typically noticed. I do not go to my students' sporting events alone however, because I'm afraid it will make me appear creepy. That's probably the result of me watching too many cop shows on TV.

Going to the movies alone doesn't bother me. That's probably because the lights are off. I've not found the courage for going to stage theater performances or concerts alone, but I'm working on it. Going to a museum alone doesn't bother me, many people go to tourist locations by themselves. There are some awkward moments but I've discovered that if I purchase the audio tour option to go with the walking tour, the awkwardness goes away.

I've had "friends" end our friendship because they are married and I'm not or because they have children and I don't. I've had people apologize to me for the fact that I'm single...no lie...that happens at church more than anywhere else. I don't tell you all of this to foster pity or garner sympathy from my readers, I am content in my circumstance.  I wanted to illustrate, however, the courage I think it takes to be alone. I've begun to recognize that it takes courage for me, and I believe courage for others, to face life by yourself.

I'm coming up on relocation to a city in which I know no one. My shyness and introverted tendencies make it very easy for me to go to work and come home without branching out to activities or events that require courage. From a faith perspective I should probably be in a place where I know God is with me always and I'm not really alone. I believe that faith is giving me the peace and courage to make this move, but either there's something lacking in my faith or there's something different about walking into a restaurant because that peace and courage doesn't always exist for me.

When I began this blog, I told you it was about my journey. My physical journey in a couple of weeks will include a moving truck and all of my personal possessions heading west on 412. I'm better at finding positive qualities and attributes in others than I am at finding them in myself. In my personal journey however I'm working on that. I'm working on acknowledging the things about myself that are admirable and patting myself on the back for even the smallest steps I may take toward being a better version of me. This move is an opportunity for me to be anyone I want to be. I can re-invent myself, change the things I don't like and accentuate the things I love. It is an opportunity I'm embracing...one courageous step at a time.

Book Review: Miracle on Southwest Boulevard

One of the speakers I had the pleasure of hearing last week was the author of this book, Cindi Hemm.  Mrs. Hemm is getting ready to retire from a long career as an educator and administrator in Tulsa Public Schools.  In 2003 she was assigned to move from a school with students from largely white, middle class homes to a high poverty, high minority school in north Tulsa.  This book chronicles her journey over the last nine years.  She very openly discusses how she called on God to help her be successful in turning the school around.  Her faith and strength are inspiring.

From an educational perspective it's also inspiring.  A couple of years ago I had the privilege of hearing US Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, speak at the National Title I Conference.  It was really the launching point of the President's re-authorization of NCLB, the Elementary and Secondary Education Act (ESEA).  In that speech, Secretary Duncan talked about the administration's vision for Community Schools.  For me personally it was exactly what I think education has to be to be successful.  The goal of community schools is to not only provide high quality education to high poverty students, but also to provide support and education to the adults in those students' lives.  This book is about how one school in Tulsa has become a Community School and what an amazing place it has become!

In several places throughout the book Mrs. Hemm talks about how community organizations and churches provided most of her support as she reformed her elementary school.  I encourage you to look for similar opportunities.  In every school there are children who would benefit from a mentor or programs to which you could contribute your time and talents.  You don't have to leave the country or go to a major urban area to serve, there are schools and children in your own back yard!

I am just beginning to study and learn about generational poverty, but from what I've already learned and studied, I believe that understanding and working to change patterns of generational poverty is the key to improving our educational system.  Educational leadership expert Bill Daggett said in a speech last week that America has the best education system because we educate everyone.  Other countries have specific requirements for who can attend schools and in some cases cultures dictate which children are worthy to receive an education.  We don't do that here.  Every child is entitled to an education.  There are all manor of reasons why children learn differently, but one substantial roadblock for many students is poverty.

The findings of the Hart and Risley study demonstrate the impact that poverty has on oral language development of children and subsequently their reading development.  The Matthew Effect, based in the research of psychologist Keith Stanovich, refers to the fact that when it comes to reading and writing...the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.  Not monetarily speaking, but in language and reading development.  Those who fail at reading early, or who have negative experiences with books early in life, are reluctant and struggling readers who refuse to read as they get older.  The more you read, the better you get...the rich get richer.  The less you read the more difficult it becomes....the poor get poorer.  Often the students that fail at reading early, fail due to issues related to poverty.

It is my opinion that to truly revolutionize education, to ensure that our schools produce students that are college, career and citizen ready in a globally competitive world, we have to improve education for all of our students, including those in generational poverty.  The Community Schools format discussed in this book is one way to approach school improvement.  There are certainly other ways to do so, but it starts with administrators like Cindi Hemm.

It takes a principal who is not afraid to do what's right for kids even if it prohibits them from being friends with their staff.  It takes a principal who will work long hours going above and beyond for their students.  It takes a principal who has a vision of academic excellence.  In my experience these kinds of principals are the minority.  It was refreshing and inspiring to read a story that confirmed my beliefs, taught me more about school reform and left me wanting to know more.  I definitely recommend this book!

It's all coming together

I'm beginning to feel things all come together and that's a wonderful feeling!  I've felt so disjointed and broken for so long that it's nice to feel cohesion and connection for a change.  I spent most of this week in Oklahoma City at the SDE sponsored educators conference Vision 2020.  The caliber of speakers and depth of research presented was impressive.  Every session that I attended presented research about reading instruction, school reform and leadership.  I am so excited about the new things that I learned.  I also learned more about my job.

I have a partner and our office will be housed at the Autry Technology Center.  We will be working with twenty-three districts in our assigned region.  There are sixty coaches across the state and we cover all 530 school districts in the state.  They divided the assignments based on the number of classroom teachers in our districts.  Each coach is to have approximately 1,000 teachers.  Our twenty-three districts included close to 1,800 teachers.  We're still unclear as to whether my partner and I will work together to serve all 23 districts or if we'll be dividing those into two smaller groupings.  I haven't closely examined a map yet to know what the distances are between the districts, but I know a good bit of travel will be involved.  My job is to provide professional development and instructional support for my districts to help them make the transition from PASS to Common Core and to assist them in reaching whatever instructional goals they may have set for themselves.  I'll be participating in lots of professional development myself in addition to what I provide.  

There are several people at the state department that have worked a long time to bring this initiative to the state of Oklahoma.  We are one of the first, if not the first, state to do a program like this.  The women that I've heard speak this week about how this initiative came to fruition have been encouraging and inspirational.  They've talked often about how all of the decisions for this program were very prayerfully considered and how they've relied on a higher power when things seemed impossible.  I look forward to continuing to get to know them and this team that they've assembled.  I know that I will be challenged both professionally and personally on this part of my life journey.

I have a lot of reading to do and taking a page from my friend Kelly Wiggains' blog I'll write reviews of the various books that I read.  Most of them will be job related, but I'll try to share other books that I've enjoyed as well.  I'm working on expanding my literary horizons with my book choices, if you have recommendations for me I'd love to have those!  Taking another page from Kelly, I'm going to begin a journal list of books I need to read.  I'll be glad to add your recommendations to my list.

There is still a lot for me to learn and a certainly lots to do before I can fully embrace my new job, but it's all coming together and it's going to be amazing!

A New Beginning

This week is my new beginning.  Starting on Tuesday I will attend the education conference hosted by the Oklahoma State Department of Education where I will begin training for my new job.  Each morning I'll meet with my new team to begin getting to know them and getting acquainted with my new responsibilities.  There are still a lot of questions about what all my job will actually entail, but there are some things I know for certain.  I've been assigned to work with Chisholm Public Schools which is in North Enid.  I will be providing professional development, consultation and modeling lessons for the teachers there.  I will work from an office at a local career tech.  Things that are as yet unknown...what other districts I may work with, the specifics about the professional development I'll be providing, professional development in which I will participate and how my calendar will actually look.  I am hoping to have more of those answers this week.

Until today, I've been very calm and not at all worried about the details of this transition.  I credit the prayers of my family and friends for the peace that I've felt throughout this transition.  My faith has not been what it should be in the last few years.  I imagine everyone goes through times in their life in which faith falters.  We wouldn't be human if we didn't struggle with faith.  I am trying, however, to depend on faith to get me through this transition.  I'm trying to have faith that things will be revealed and my questions will be answered.

Today I was not calm.  I may have outwardly appeared calm to my parents who came to spend the day with me helping me look for housing in Enid, but inside I was beginning to panic.  We spent the afternoon looking for rental property, specifically a house for rent, with very little luck.  The two real estate agents we spoke with told us that rental property is hard to come by in Enid.  I had suspected as much from my research last week, but didn't expect this much trouble.  I would prefer not to live in an apartment again with my dog, but that is likely where I'm headed.  I'm thankful for this job and the opportunities that I will bring, I need to have faith that my housing situation will work itself out.

I told a good friend recently that having the opportunity to move to a new city with new co-workers, a new home and new surroundings provides me the unique opportunity to re-invent myself.  I am looking forward to doing just that.  I want to be the best parts of myself and leave the other stuff behind.  I want to strengthen my faith, have better relationships and live a healthier life.  There are many steps to all of those, but it starts with my beginning.

It's a new dawn

It's a new day

It's a new life

For me

And I'm feeling good