The Psychology of Shoes

If you mention Dorothy, most people think "Wizard of Oz," which leads to thoughts of yellow brick roads, the wizard behind the curtain and the journey to make it back home.  There is a tremendous amount of depth to "The Wizard of Oz" and certainly literary elements to be explored and applied to life.  What I'm most interested in today however are her ruby slippers, shoes that have the power to return you to comfort and home.

I know that some women go crazy for shoes, just as I'm quite certain there are men out there that go crazy for shoes too.  I'm not a crazy shoe person.  In fact, six out of seven days a week, you'll likely find me wearing tennis shoes.  I wear what is comfortable.  In my attempts to organize my home in the last several days I started out not wearing shoes at all.  I'd spend all day in socks or bare feet working around my house.  What I discovered after one day of this was that my feet and ankles were sore and tender.  While I'm sure there's more than one explanation for why I felt that way, I decided to try wearing shoes to see if that would help my problem.  I began having flashbacks of my mom making my siblings and I put our shoes on as "part of getting ready for the day, just like brushing your teeth."  I didn't understand the purpose then, but mother's know best and I understand it now!  I found that not only did wearing my shoes keep my feet from hurting at the end of the day, they made me more productive.  I got all sorts of things done while wearing my shoes!

If it hasn't already been done, I think someone should do a study about the psychology of shoes.  When I googled that idea, "psychology of shoes," the articles that I encountered revolved around the observers perspective of shoes.  By that I mean, writers attempted to explain or discuss the reason for shoe selection, the obsession of shoe shopping or the impressions we all get when we notice other people's shoes.  What I would be interested in is the personal feeling attached to shoes.  For example, tennis shoes make me feel productive and energetic.  Heels on the other hand make me feel clumsy and awkward.  At times I choose my shoes not only based on my outfit, but on how I want to feel.  If I want to feel tall and confident, I wear boots.  If I want to feel stylish, I choose a pair of sandals.  For me the choice of what shoes I wear is more about how I want to feel that day than anything else.  Certainly the outfit plays a part, but the feelings are important too.  Have you ever thought about why you choose the shoes that you do?  Do you feel differently because of how you dress your feet?  I like this quote by Adriana Trigiani...

"...it's not so much about the shoes, but the person wearing them."

I told you that tennis shoes make me feel productive and energetic...I've worn my tennis shoes a lot in the last few days.  I got to a point in my house cleaning/organizing that I couldn't finish one room before starting another one.  I needed to work in multiple rooms, so before and after shots aren't plentiful here, but I did take one. This is the before of my dining room table...

Like other people, my dining table is my catch all...obviously.  I have a small house.  It's a wonderful house, but it's not a big house.  This is the only eating area in my home.  I don't use it for that purpose.  I can count on one hand the number of times I've sat at the table to eat in the last year, and I only sat at it then because I had family here.  That's how I view dining rooms....a place for family.  For my family the dining room is the place where all of the important stuff happens.  It's the place for meals, conversations and games.  We've laughed, cried, fought and talked around that table.  It is the center of our family communication.  I don't have a family.  Sitting at my table alone doesn't provide the filling experiences of my childhood, quite the opposite, it's uncomfortable and leaves a feeling of emptiness.  That being the case, I don't sit there to eat.  I sit on the couch or in my recliner and watch TV.  Another practice that wasn't a part of my upbringing...the TV isn't on during meal times at the Jones household.  Since I don't sit there to eat, the clutter that fills the table is incredibly common.  With company coming however, there will be people sitting at my table, so I've cleaned everything up and come up with this....

Jury's out on whether that charger will stay or not...I may switch that out for a white one.  I'm not certain I like the red glass beads in that vase either...I may rethink those.  I'm also going to get creative about napkin rings, I'll probably make some out of ribbon, but I haven't done that yet.  Despite my aversion to using this table for what it's meant, I don't mind decorating it.  One of those things I'd lost the joy in doing, but have felt better about in the last week.  I've also cooked a couple of times.  It's easier to find joy in doing things like cooking and decorating when you're in an organized space.  In fact that mentality reminds me of Mama Bear in The Berenstain Bears and the Messy Room.  Like mealtime conversations and family games, the Berenstain Bears books were a staple in our house for their enjoyment as well as their lessons.  Enjoying organization is the message of that particular title.

People have asked me before why my blog posts are so sad.  I don't set out to write about sad things or to portray a melancholy existence.  I just set out to share my experiences with my life journey.  I choose parts of myself to share that I think might help my readers understand me a little better and that might allow me to experience a little self-made therapy.  Acknowledging my faults and flaws, then outlining the steps, albeit small steps, I'm taking to better myself and my life, provide me with accountability to complete those steps.

"The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them."

-Unknown

Operation Organization Day 2

I had a hard time getting out of bed today.  In part because I stayed up way too late finishing my third novel of the week, but in part because today was kind of a test for me I suppose.  If you've been reading my blog for very long, you know that I interviewed for a position with the state department last Tuesday.  I felt like the interview went very well.  I've told everyone that has asked me about it that there's nothing I could have done differently that might have changed the outcome, whatever that outcome may be.  I am confident that I can do the job, it's just a matter of whether or not there are sixty other applicants that the state feels could do it better.  They asked a lot of questions about whether or not I am willing to relocate and I've assured them that I am, so we'll see if that's what ends up happening.  The time table I was given for them making a decision was a week to a week and a half.  One week was Tuesday, a week and a half is Friday (tomorrow).

The day after my interview with the state department, I had a second interview with a charter school in OKC.  At the end of that second interview they offered me a contract.  I told them that I had interviewed with the state department the day before and that if offered that position, I would take it.  I told them that I was supposed to know something late this week.  The principal told me he would call me on Thursday (today) to get my answer about taking their contract.  There was more to the conversation than that, but those are the highlights.

Today being the day I expected to hear from the charter school principal I've been nervous and on edge all day.  I'm not good at telling people no.  If you've known me for very long at all you know that my inability to say no is a major problem for me.  I've been sick today over the potential conversation in which I would have to tell the school that I'd not yet heard from the state...assuming the state did not call before the school.  Luckily...or unluckily, depending on how you look at it...no one called today.  The state didn't call and neither did the school.  I'm not sure what that means.  It's made me edgy and quiet most of the day though.  I imagine tomorrow will include more pins and needles.  This tension and worry made it difficult for me to get up today.

After I got up however, I managed to do some things to keep me busy.  I called the bank and let them give me bad news for an hour.  Hey...at least I wasn't thinking about my job situation.  Then I started working on my house again.  I have a deadline for this Operation Organization thing...I have to be done by Tuesday because that's when my best friend Christy and her three girls are coming to stay with me on their way to Searcy.  I have to have my house organized and liveable for five people in the next five days.  Since I was out of town yesterday, today was Day 2 and the target was the living room.

While this picture doesn't look terribly awful, there are pockets of chaos everywhere.  If you look closely you'll notice that my snowmen are still on display.  This wide view thankfully doesn't show the major layers of dust on everything.  I worked diligently however and have completed another room.  Unfortunately my office took a slight hit when I brought the stuff in here that was in the living room and when I was frantically digging through files and bank statements during my earlier phone call.  The damage can be rectified relatively easily however and I should be able to put it to rights before bed.  Here's the after...

I picked up, dusted, ran the vacuum and organized my books.  I've stored my snowmen and found places for the school stuff that hadn't found a holding tank yet.  I feel good and productive about my day.  I'll take care of the office once more this evening and hopefully settle down with another book before bed.  Who knows what phone calls tomorrow will bring.  Hopefully ones that aren't awkward for me...I pray that I will have clarity and a decision whenever I get that call.

Metacog...what?

Metacognition...

I first learned this term in my bachelor's program at Harding and gained a fuller understanding in my graduate studies.  Because of it's complexity, it is something I will continue to learn about at every opportunity.  Metacognition is the ability to think about your own thinking.  It is a very internal process.  Good readers use metacognition regularly to analyze and understand text.  It's an important part of being a critical thinker which is required in every field.  Being aware of my metacognitive abilities and teaching children how to develop their metacognitive abilities is a big part of my job as a reading specialist.

Ultimately the task of reading is about constructing meaning from text.  As adults we read for a purpose.  We want to be entertained, informed, persuaded...there are many different reasons for reading.  Varying purposes cause us to employ various comprehension or critical thinking skills while we're reading to help us understand the text.  We don't read an Owner's Manual for our newest appliance in the same way that we read the latest issue of our favorite magazine.  We don't read the newspaper in the same way that we read a novel.  We are reading for different purposes and therefore we alter how we attack and interpret the text.  Good readers tend to do this inherently and with ease.  Beginning and struggling readers have to be explicitly taught how to do these things.

I believe teaching children to comprehend text is one of the most difficult tasks that teachers face.  Take decoding out of the equation for a minute and just think about all that your brain does to help you understand what you read.  It is a very internal process...it all goes on in your head.  The challenge for teachers is to teach children how to think and manage all of that information in their head.  This can be incredibly difficult because you have to find a way to take the process out of your head and show students how it works.  Comprehending is an abstract task and elementary children are concrete thinkers.  As reading teachers it's our responsibility to walk students through the transition from concrete to abstract in relation to text.  Students being able to utilize the appropriate strategies and knowing when to use which one requires them to be able to think about their own thinking...metacognition.

Today I went to a workshop entitled "Metacognition:  Establishing a Framework to Enhance Critical Thinking Skills" put on by the Oklahoma Department of Mental Health & Substance Abuse Services.  Today's speaker was Durand Crosby the COO of ODMHSAS.  I went with the expectation that I would learn more about how the brain functions during metacognitive processes and anticipated walking away being able to apply the new knowledge to my interaction with students.  I am a brain junkie by the way...I love learning about the brain and how it processes information.  I am a big believer in brain based learning and using neuroscience findings to reach students in the classroom.  Every time I attend a conference I scout out the brain based sessions and make sure to work the rest of my schedule around them.  I am fascinated by the wonder of the brain.

Today's workshop however showed fewer brain diagrams, CT scans and MRI images than I anticipated.  The focus today was more about the psychology of critical thinking; outlining and defining some of the biases and fallacies that impact our critical thinking and decision making skills.  The presenter explained and demonstrated two systems related to thinking.  The first being intuition and instinct, the second focusing more on analysis and thoughtfulness.  As he talked this afternoon I found myself not applying this new learning to my students, but to myself.  How do I function as a critical thinker?  How does my thinking ability and cognitive blindness affect my interactions with the adults around me?  He talked a lot about illusions.  Some illusions are good and necessary, others can disrupt or otherwise negatively impact the decision-making process.

The biggest take away for me was the statement..."Don't think of decision making as an event - think of it as a process."  That tilts things a little for me.  I'm not sure that it turns my thinking completely upside down, but often what I remember about whatever decision I made was either the outcome or the moment of decisiveness.  I don't remember or consider the process that led me to that moment.  At a time when I am making many decisions, some life changing, I think it is important for me to think about decision-making as a process not an event.

A couple of months ago, I began examining myself and taking a close look at my life choices.  I began blogging about my journey to share my story with friends and family and to provide myself with some accountability.  Today I've added the element of giving you a glimpse into my professional world.  Some of you have asked what it is that I actually do and this post should provide a little more insight into my day to day.

It takes some critical thinking ability to embark on this journey.  I've not reached a destination and as a believer in life-long learning, I'm not sure there is a destination...it's all about the journey.
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Several years ago I attempted to blog about my knowledge about teaching reading, the reading process and the development of readers.  I intended to do it through the lens of my experience almost as a journal of my teaching career.  I do not pretend to know all that there is know about teaching reading or the complexities of language.  I rely heavily on research, books, colleagues and mentors to guide my own learning.  I am a life long student of reading.  When I began that blog several years ago, I wasn't sure where to start and therefore wrote about two entries, before abandoning the effort.  I don't have all of the answers, but I would be glad to share the knowledge I have if you are interested.  You're welcome to comment, e-mail, text or send me a facebook message with your question, and if I can't answer it for you, I will try to point you in the right direction.  It's much easier for me to answer questions about the process than to choose an random topic that I hope is relative to your professional practice.

Operation Organization

Today was Day 1 of Operation Organization at my house.  I took yesterday totally off and read books, played on facebook and watched daytime talk shows.  Today I skipped the talk shows and was productive.  My office has been a dumping ground for the last several months.  You can see in the picture above that it was a disaster to say the least.  I started the day with the goals of organizing enough that I could move a desk and another table in here (both have been in my living room) and to start downsizing.  There is a very high likelihood that I will move and there is an equally high likelihood that I will not be able to find a house this size for what I can afford to pay, so downsizing is necessary.

In my post yesterday I told you that I'd become frustrated with the hobby of scrapbooking because it takes up so much space.  At one time (when this room used to be organized) that's all that this room was devoted to.  My crafting and scrapbooking materials are tucked onto shelves (some of which you can't see from this view).  The entire room was designed as an office and crafting space.  I'm downsizing those materials in preparation for a potential move.  While there is a possibility I won't move, it doesn't hurt to clean out and get rid of stuff I'm not using.  I've discovered the Beg, Barter, Buy and Sell facebook group for Payne County and am trying my hand there for selling some of my stuff.  Friends are more than welcome to have the first pick, ultimately however, it's leaving my house however I'm able to get it out of here.

The picture below is the after pic of all of my work today.  The desk that you see in front of the pink chair was at school...yes I had to buy my own desk and yes I've now had to make space for it at home.  I like it in here for now.  It was designed for a desktop computer and I only have a laptop so there are parts of it that aren't functional or helpful for me, but it's not bad.  I started a box of garage sale items that I'll take to my mom's to sell in a couple of weeks.  I also set up my Autism Awareness Scentsy that my dad gave me and set out the little owl carving that I bought in Santa Fe.  I'll continue to work in other rooms this week.  I'll spare you pictures of my kitchen and bathroom, however...too embarrassing!  Day 1 was a success...more organizing tomorrow!!

Writing a new chapter

I heard a professor in graduate school say that there are two keys to being a good writer.  First you have to set aside time to write something every day.  Whether it's an ongoing project or a one time piece, becoming a writer requires writing daily.  Second you have to be well read.  Knowing the qualities, attributes and nuances of a wide range of literature will inform your style and content.  I'm not a writer but I am a reader, and I'm working on becoming more well read.  I tend to stick to genres, authors and titles that I've read before.  I re-read a lot!!  My friend Kelly Wiggains was a high school English teacher before having children and being able to stay home with them.  She recently started a blog about her experiences as a reader and a mom.  I've only been reading for a couple of weeks but I've already learned so much from her.  If you're a reader and are looking for great book reviews and a wide range of literature recommendations, I would highly recommend her blog.

The new chapter I'm writing is not a literal chapter, although given this forum, perhaps it's a little more literal than the figurative meaning I had when I chose this title.  I've closed the chapter in my life that included being a reading specialist for my recent district.  When I left for the last time yesterday, I had an overwhelming feeling of closure.  It's was kind of a movie moment.  You've had those haven't you?  That moment where you can hear the background music, see the lighting change and you're able to step outside of yourself to observe the scene.  I stood alone in the doorway of what was my classroom and looked around.  I had run out of things to do.  I'd finished packing, cleaning, and delivering those last few items and it was time to go.  I was ready.  I didn't cry, I was ready for the closure and the turning of a page.

On Friday, I said good bye to my co-workers and received well-wishes for my upcoming adventures and endeavors.  The first grade team gave me the plaque that's below.  It's a beautiful chocolate brown color and will find a place in my home where it's seen and enjoyed.  

I believe everyone that we encounter leaves an imprint on our lives.  I don't think any relationship is a wasted relationship.  I think we can learn something about ourselves and others from every one that we meet.  I have learned lots of things, both good and bad about people and about myself from my time there.  I've gained career experience that is invaluable and am grateful for that.  Over the next few weeks I will send notes and letters various co-workers and colleagues.  It's easier to express my thoughts, feelings and gratitude on paper than it is in a conversation where I'm trying to control my tears.

I'm ready for my next adventure.  I told a good friend recently that I've grown incredibly unhappy in my life.  I used to gain joy from things that no longer hold that joy for me.  I used to enjoy cooking...now it's a chore.  I used to enjoy scrapbooking...now it's a hobby that takes up space.  I used to enjoy decorating my home...now it's just another task.  I have allowed the stress and tension of my job to overtake my life and my unhappiness there has translated into unhappiness everywhere.  I'm reclaiming my happiness.  I'm going to renew old hobbies or find new ones.  I'm going to read for pleasure and become a more well-read person with my book choices.  In order to do those things, I need to organize my life and my home.  

I moved my classroom home, which if you've ever taught for any length of time, you know that's no small feat.   There are a couple of pictures here to show you what my guest room currently looks like.  There's just enough walk space to get to the twin bed.  The only two items that didn't make it into my house are my mini-fridge and microwave that are now at my dad's office.  Until I know exactly where I'll be next year, my stuff will just hang out in my guest room.  If you come to stay with me I promise you'll not have to crawl over boxes to have a place to sleep.  

My next chapter will include happiness, adventure and organization.  I'm going to continue becoming a writer and I hope you'll continue to journey with me.

Getting in the zone

If you google "getting in the zone" your search will yield multiple articles about how to find that mental place of focus.  Athletes talk about that place as being where body and mind work cooperatively and successfully to achieve their goal.  Pitchers pitch the perfect game, hitters hit a home run, golfers hit the ever elusive hole in one, quarterbacks and receivers seem to dance down the field in perfect choreographic sync.  Psychologists call it flow, being fully engaged, energized, focused and successful in an activity.  Surgeons need it, lawyers need it, NYC taxi drivers need it; I would venture to say every one needs that zone experience.  It's a place that has eluded me lately, but it's a place I will be fervently seeking in the next two days.

Two days from now I will have the interview of my career.  When I started my job search I was turned on to this position by a colleague who is also looking for other employment.  It is a dream job for me.  I've commented to family and friends before that the way that my career has gone so far, I am tailored to work in the state of Oklahoma.  The training and experience that I've had above and beyond my degrees are very helpful in Oklahoma school districts.  That's not to say I can't work other places, or that my knowledge isn't useful in other places, but it's tailored to this location.  This position will allow me to use everything that I've been trained to do, everything my personality thrives while doing, and everything I've wanted to do since I started graduate school.

There were between 250-300 applicants for 60 available positions.  I've been selected from that initial pool of applicants to interview for one of the sixty positions.  There are two parts to the interview.  The first part is a five minute presentation on the topic of my choice.  I've been told to be creative and open.  I have a smartboard available for my use should I want it.  The second part of the interview is question and answer.  I was told the interview would last approximately one hour.  If selected for this position, I would be assigned to work with a district or districts to provide professional development and academic coaching.

As one of my mentors recently told me, this job would allow me to be the data and statistic junkie that I am.  Linda, one of my good friends and teammates told me that this is a perfect position for me and that she has a good feeling about it.  I want both of them to be right!   Linda and I went to the city yesterday for a Redhawks game and before we made it to Bricktown she drove by the capital to show me where I need to park to go into the building.  Yes...I said capitol...the interview is with the State Department of Education.  The OKSDE office is not housed in the capital building, but in one of the buildings within the capital complex.

I need to find that mental place of focus, engagement and productivity.  Hopefully I can channel the likes of Josh Beckett, Jonathan Papelbon, Dustin Pedroia and Peyton Manning on their best days.  It's the interview of my career and it's time to get in the zone.

"Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven"

I ran across this quote by Henry Ward Beecher, brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe and it made me smile.  I didn't know anything about Henry Ward Beecher so I looked him up on my good friend Wikipedia and discovered that he was a 19th century clergyman, social reformer and speaker.  While I don't know the actual root of this quote, I imagine it's related to Matthew 18:1-5

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 

"Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.  And he said, "Truly I tell you,

unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me."

I've chosen a profession that allows me to spend my days working with struggling children, but that wasn't where I started.  In fact, when I started my freshman year at Harding, I had no intention of teaching.  I was a business major.  It wasn't until my sophomore year that I changed to the college of education.  Even then I maintained that I did not want to teach young children.  I even tried negotiating with the person that gave student teacher assignments to make sure I wouldn't have a placement with students younger than fourth grade.  That didn't work out, I had a second grade placement.  I insisted that I would not teach young students, then my first job out of college was teaching kindergarten.  I maintained that I could not teach special needs students.  I didn't feel like I had the skills, talents or knowledge to teach students with special needs.  Then I went to graduate school and got a degree to work with struggling students.

For those that don't know exactly what I do as a reading specialist, here it is in a nutshell...  I work with the students that are not able to reach classroom benchmarks in reading.  My students are struggling to learn to read, either because of environmental deficits that have caused them to start out behind their peers, because they haven't had enough of the right kind of instruction to be successful, or because they are beginning to show signs of having a learning disability.  For many of my students I bridge the gap between the regular classroom and special education.  In the last few years I have handled all of the pre-referral interventions for special education at the elementary.  I've walked students and parents through the intervention and evaluation process to determine if special services are warranted.  This is the part of my job that I hands down, absolutely love.  It allows me to diagnose a reading problem, prescribe and/or design a specific intervention for the problem and work with all of the adults in the students' lives to coordinate services.  Since I do not have a background in special education, I've had a lot to learn, but I've met the challenge head on and in a lot of ways I feel as though I've been successful in this area of my job.  It has inspired me to consider pursuing certification in mild and moderate disabilities.  Definitely not what I set out to do as a freshman in college.

For as long as I have said that I cannot be an effective special needs teacher, I have always had great admiration and respect for those that have chosen to do just that.  Special education teachers have the patience of Job, the creativity of JK Rowling, the work ethic of Bill Gates and artistry of Michelangelo.  This year two of the special education teachers at my school have taken me under their wing and allowed me to be a part of their world.  I've learned so much from them and their students.  One of the major blessings for me this year has been to participate as a volunteer for Special Olympics.  I'm not the best team member in the world and I haven't been as consistently involved as I would have liked, but I am grateful to them for allowing me to join them.  My schedule and the fact that my job description is a thick as it is, has kept me from being able to attend all of the practices.  I've worked hard to be at as many as possible and I have immensely enjoyed my time with the team.

In the faces of those children I've seen glimpses of heaven, in their smiles I've seen blinding joy, in their encouragement of each other I've been encouraged.  On the eve of the state games, the culmination of what this team has worked so hard to achieve, I am grateful.  Grateful to Marie and Lesley for their initial example of special education teachers.  Grateful to Lynn for her guidance and on the job training as I learned what it takes to be an effective special education teacher.  Grateful to Shelynn, Vickie and Kris, for opening their doors to me and allowing me to be a part of such an amazing experience.  And most of all grateful to the students that allow me to hold their hands and take hold of heaven.

An Energizer Bunny

Isn't it funny how marketing and commercials have become a regular part of our language?  I doubt the creators of the Duracell commercial several years ago anticipated that their slogan would become a metaphor commonly used to describe being busy!  Handy byproduct however, since they get all sorts of advertising out of every day conversation.

I tend to be an Energizer Bunny...I go and go and go...until I crash.  Probably not the best or healthiest cycle, but I doubt I'm alone in that cycle either.  I've been going and going and going for weeks.  This past Friday, if you read my facebook post, you know that I was all over the place.  There are times that I feel as though I live out of my car, it's a good thing I have a comfortable car in good working order, because that's precisely what I did this weekend.  Friday morning I started out doing breakfast duty at the elementary.  I had a testing session to do at the junior high at 8:20, but since duty ends at 8:10 I had just enough time to finish one place and get to the next place.  I don't teach at the junior high or high school.  I do however, assist with state mandated tests at those sites due to a staff shortage there.  It gives me a chance to see some of my former students.  I saw one of my students from my first year of teaching that I haven't seen since I had her.  It's nice to see the adult that she has become...yes I said adult...I've been here that long!

After my morning testing session, I was supposed to have an afternoon testing session, but a car that hit a telephone pole changed those plans.  Power was out for about an hour and we couldn't get things booted fast enough to start the online testing session.  I'm sure that will cause re-scheduling difficulties, but hopefully nothing too terribly major.

Friday afternoon I drove to Oklahoma City for an interview with a charter school there.  I feel like the interview went very well.  I did some research about that school before the interview, but I will need to do more if it becomes a job opportunity.  I was asked by the principal what my salary requirement would be.  I managed to keep a poker face when I responded with the figure of my current salary.  Salary isn't something that's often discussed at school interviews, because generally speaking it's not negotiated.  Districts have a set salary schedule that typically you're aware of when you interview for them.  In the research I had done, I knew that this school was associated with Oklahoma City Public Schools and I therefore assumed the salary schedule for OKCPS would be the schedule used for this school.  Apparently I don't understand charters however, because that's not the case.  They pay insurance, but do not pay into teacher retirement.  I'll have to do some research and figuring if this is a position that I am offered.

I stayed in the city Friday night and did some shopping on Saturday.  I know right...I even bought skirts!  Thanks to my mom, my sister and Kallie replying to the various pictures I sent from the dressing room, I think I found some pretty decent outfits.  I've told you before I don't like to shop.  I'm not good at selecting outfits that match, I'm a little like a guy.  I've discovered though that if I'm by myself all I have to do is find a mannequin I like, find those items in my size and if I look halfway decent when I try it on, I buy it.  My sister and mom are often with me when I clothes shop.  In those instances I usually hang out in the dressing room while they bring me stuff to try on.  Saturday it had to be a virtual shopping experience.  I decided after stopping at Lakeshore to get a couple of items for my dad, that I would run to Tulsa that afternoon.  I could drop off the therapy toys, see my parents and grandparents and pick up my dog.  Little did I know that would be as long of a trip as it was...like I said, it's a good thing I like my car!

The trip from Oklahoma City to Tulsa takes anywhere from and hour and a half to two hours depending on what part of each city you're traveling between and how much traffic you encounter.  My trip on Saturday took four hours.  I got ten miles from the exit I needed and traffic came to a dead stop.  There was a wreck on the turnpike that involved multiple cars.  I think I must of pulled up on it before emergency crews were on scene, because ambulances, highway patrol and various other emergency vehicles sailed by me on the shoulder.  We sat at that stand still for an hour and fifteen minutes.  Then all ten miles worth of gridlock were sent to a parallel highway which cause a clog there.  It was a long drive to say the least.

I will continue my energizer bunny business this week.  I am leaving immediately after work tomorrow to drive to Norman for an interview.  I'm interviewing for a third grade teaching job at Truman Elementary at 5:30.  It will be a long day, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to interview in the evening.  I was contacted again by the Washington, DC district looking for a reading specialist.  I am supposed to have a phone interview with them some time this week.  Between my schedule and theirs we've had a little difficulty connecting so far.  I was also contacted by a principal in McCloud, OK who would like to interview me for a fifth grade position.  I have e-mailed him back about my availability to meet, so we'll see when that happens.  Today I completed applications for New York City and Casper, Wyoming.  I told someone last week that when I established a profile on a teacher recruiting website I had indicated that I was willing to go to any state except Alaska, Hawaii and Texas.  I'm re-thinking Alaska!  :)

I'm not usually one to want lots of change, but right now I'm on a roll...I'm ready to turn everything upside down!

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

I heard Kelly Clarkson's song Stronger  on the way to work on Monday.  I was singing at the top of my lungs (the three lines I knew) mustering the courage to go to work.  I won't go into the details as to why it was difficult for me to go to work on Monday but suffice it to say it was one of the hardest things I've had to do in a long time.  Hearing that song and singing through my fear made my morning seem marginally manageable.

I haven't made many updates about my job search lately.  I told my mom, one downside of establishing a blog and using it as an accountability piece with my friends and family means not only do I have public success, I have public failure.  If you've followed me on facebook you know that I interviewed for a position in South Ogden, Utah.  After my interview last Tuesday, the principal called me on Friday to tell me they had selected a different candidate.  While I felt that the interview went well I knew there were a couple of specific things they were looking for that I did not possess in my job history.  As my mom pointed out there's likely a statistic about how many interviews a person will complete before being hired, and she's right.  Multiple interviews will likely take place before I find a place and a position that is a good match for me.  That aside, there's always a sting for me when I'm not what someone wants.  It doesn't matter that the logical side of my brain says that I knew after the interview that I didn't have what they need or that perhaps there's another school that would have a better place for me.  In that moment, that 2 minute conversation, what I heard was you're not what we want.  Being several days removed from the conversation I don't consider myself a failure for not securing the job.  The sting is still there, but I am going to "stand a little taller" after my experience.  And hey...I learned how to Skype!

I'm working on the application with the Washington DC school.  I'm also working on gathering some information about the district.  In part of their job description for the reading specialist position, the requirement of two years of urban teaching experience was listed.  I've told them I don't have urban teaching experience and I've been encouraged to apply any way.  I'm doing some research and reaching out to those I know in the area that might can give me more information about the district itself.  The HR recruiter actually called me on Monday and told me that my resume is being passed around and that if I haven't heard from the Reading Specialist coordinator by Friday that I should call back.  The application and interview process is lengthy and involved, but I'm going to go ahead with it and see where it takes me.  Job applications are a big part of my current journey.

I was also contacted on Monday via e-mail and phone by two different schools in the Oklahoma City area who have my application, both are charter schools.  I have supplied the additional documentation to the school that contacted me via e-mail.  I have an interview scheduled for this Friday at 4:30 with the other school.

I've sent my application to more schools this week.  I've applied in Norman, OK, Ft. Lupton, CO, Alexandria, VA and Liberal, KS.  Some of the jobs I've applied for are reading specialist positions, others are classroom positions.  Right now I'm applying for anything that I have the credentials for.  Filling out applications can be a full time job!  They can take a lot of time and every time I think I've collected everything I need for potential employers, I run into something else that I don't have.  I've written a lot of essays lately!  In keeping with my theme for the week however...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone.

This song is actually written about a romantic breakup which obviously isn't my case, but the song still speaks to my circumstance in a lot of ways.  I've said before that music speaks to me in profound ways.  This week it was empowering.