Home Away from Home

I'm back in Oklahoma City in what has become my home away from home.  I know more of my teammates names, can mostly find my way around and am a better traveler than the first time I was here.  For my training weeks, I drive to OKC on Sunday afternoon and check into my hotel and will check out on Friday morning.  The first week I was here, there were some problems with the place that we stayed.  I personally didn't experience any problems, but my teammates did so we've moved hotels but we've been told we'll be here all year.  It's nice to be coming to the same place every time.  I told my dad today I've gotten better at being mobile.  Other than the wide range of materials and supplies that are constantly present in my car, I have a set of items that I bring with me for the hotel.  Things like a portable laundry hamper, night light and power strip are all part of my kit.  Between two computers, two cell phones, my GPS and my iPad, there are no shortage of electronics that I charge regularly.  At home I can spread those out around various rooms, here the power strip is a must have!

Here are some pics of my home away from home...

This is the view as you walk in the door.  I have a two room suite.  This weekend has included a lot of catch-up work for me and this evening was no exception, I've obviously already made good use of the desk and chair trying to sort some papers and files.

This room opens to the interior of the building so on the other side of those curtains is a view of the lobby.  I'm actually on the second floor this time so it's a distant view.

My living area includes a nice flat screen television as well as a fridge and microwave.  I made sure to bring a couple of snacks with me this time.  All of our meals are provided, which includes dinner.  Dinner however, is served at 4:00 so it's nice to have a snack for the evening if I want one.  My briefcase and purse are already packed for tomorrow morning and waiting by the door.  Since I have to leave each morning a little before 7:00 I try to be organized the night before.

I have a king size bed and lots of pillows which I like.  Typically I have a book on the night stand, but I haven't unpacked it yet.  My training days require so much concentration and focus that I don't usually have the mental capacity to work when I get out of class.  Unless I have assignments (which will likely be the case this week) I try to do some reading for pleasure in the evenings.  I brought a couple of new novels this week that I'm excited about.  I posted on facebook recently that spending a lot of time focusing and reading during the day keeps me from being able to do that at night.  Too much reading strains my vision.  However, my classes are just listening, so I'm hoping my vision holds up for evening reading.

I have a smaller television and coffee pot in my bedroom.  There is also a continental breakfast where I can get a cup of coffee, so I don't typically make any in here.  Breakfast is served as part of my meetings, but it's nice to have a cup of coffee when you're up that early!  I use the dresser to hold my jewelry (you can see it to the right of the TV), but all of my clothes are in the closet area.  I didn't take a pic of that, but I'm sure you can imagine.  It's a small walk in where the luggage rack holds my suitcase and the clothing bar holds my hang ups.  My laundry hamper and the iron and ironing board that's provided are also in there.

My Sunday evenings here are quiet.  It's time for me to get settled and set up for the week, catch up on some work, or read for pleasure.  My work yesterday and today are things that I would normally spend office time doing.  In the last two weeks however, Carri and I have had very little office time.  During lunch on Friday we decided that perhaps it's time for us to split up to better meet the needs of our districts.  We had said from the beginning that we would stay together as long as possible, but it's getting impossible.  I drove 2,025 miles in the last month.  We've been on the road four or five days a week.  I love our road time and I'm getting ready to invest in audible.com so that I can multitask during some of my drive time, but that much time on the road means office work is done after hours or on weekends and that's exhausting.  Splitting up and only going to our designated districts, instead of trying to go everywhere together will free us up for more office time. 

Our first week we were at the capital, the second week we were at the National Guard Regional Training Center, this week our classes are at the State Department of Education office building which is in the capital complex.  I'm a little nervous this time though and I'm not sure exactly why.  Maybe my nerves will settle when I see everyone tomorrow and get back in the grove of training.  This week promises to be packed with learning, I'm determined to have a great week!

Vision Issues: No Improvement, New Theory

It's been a while since I've written.  I told myself when I started this blog, that my first goal was to write something worth reading.  I've fallen into a rhythm with my job in the last couple of weeks, which doesn't lend itself to interesting blog posts, so I've refrained from writing.  Today however, I went to the eye doctor for another check up and thought I should update you about my continuing vision issues.

First I should tell you, if I haven't already, that I love my eye doctor.  He is incredibly thorough, goes above and beyond (often calling me at home on weekends just to see how I'm doing) and doesn't hesitate to refer to me to someone else if he runs into something he can't solve.  This isn't the first time that he's referred me to someone else, but it is the first time that the referral is due to severity of condition.

They did a basic eye screening today and again he attempted to refract with lenses to give me clear vision.  Like the last ever how many visits I've had (I've lost count at this point) he was unable to find a strong enough lens.  Without glasses and covering my left eye, I cannot read the top line of letters on the chart.  With the strongest lens he can put in front of my right eye, I can read the top line, but the letters are not clear.  He said right now I'm testing around 20/40 and 20/50, but again, nothing is clear.

It is taking increasingly more effort for me to focus to see.  Seeing or reading at a distance is a bigger problem than up close.  The amount of light can cause difficulty too.  It's better right now if I don't drive at night, which I discovered a couple of weeks ago when I drove home from Tulsa, completely in the dark, and had a horrible headache by the time I got home.  After working to see and focus, I almost always have a headache and recently I've begun having a swollen or throbbing sensation in my right eye.  When I explained these symptoms to my doctor today he said the throbbing and swollen feeling is due to overworking my eye muscles.  It's probably not actually swollen, but it is overworked and therefore feels that way.

The new theory is that I have a pseudo-tumor on my optic nerve.  A pseudo-tumor in that area is caused by a lack of pressure of the cerebral spinal fluid in my brain.  He said the optic nerve itself does not look inflamed but that the fiber is very thick.  A problem with spinal fluid pressure would not show up on an MRI.  Based on this information and all of the other tests that I've been through to this point, my doctor predicts that when I go to the Dean McGee Eye Institute in three and a half weeks they will do a spinal tap to assess the pressure situation.  Certainly what actually happens when I go to Dean McGee will be up to the doctor there, but this is theory that makes the most sense at this point given the pieces of the puzzle that I currently have.

When I texted some of my family members and close friends this morning after the appointment several of them asked me how I felt about this new possibility.  My response was that I'm mostly sad.  While I should probably be pleased that I have a direction to go and some possible treatment options on the horizon, it's difficult to hear the words, tumor and brain in the same sentence pertaining to you...even if it is pseudo.  I know that part of my reaction of tears this morning came from the fact that it's been an exhausting week, and I was already on the verge.  A tough conversation with my doctor just pushed me over the edge.  For the next three weeks, I'll limit my night time driving, take more breaks from concentrated efforts to see and continue to take Tylenol regularly to control the nagging headache that's constantly there.  I'll find my balance again and be thankful for the "it's not as bad as it could be" situation later, but that's not where I am today.

It's football season!!

Tomorrow is the first Saturday of this season of college football and I'm excited.  I have many memories at which football is the center.  I grew up attending Arkansas Razorbacks games with my grandfather.  In fact I've been to more U of A sporting events than any other school, including the ones I've attended.  I remember going to OU's media day as a kid and being excited that I had my picture taken with then quarterback Cale Gundy.  I went to high school in Alabama, which is in many ways the football capital of the south.  (No offense intended to my friends in other southern states.)  I spent every Friday night of football season in my high school band at the game.

My varied experience with and love of football makes me a fan of the game, before I'm a fan of a specific team.  My philosophy is the same about professional sports, I'm a fan of the game or specific players before a specific team.  My television will be tuned in to whatever game I can get every Saturday between now and the end of the season.

I will always pull for my alma mater first.  I love to watch OSU football games and yes, I will pull for them over OU during Bedlam.  Outside of that however, my allegiance is mixed.  These are kids.  I think that really hit after I spent time as an adjunct instructor for OSU.  These are kids playing a game that in a lot of ways our society has turned into a business.  I understand the financial aspect of the college football industry, but I don't let that influence my allegiance as a fan.

My facebook posts will likely include RTR (Roll Tide Roll), War Eagle, WPS (Whoo Pig Sooie), Boomer Sooner and Go Pokes throughout various times of the season.  Hey...you might even see a Gig 'Em once or twice.  That's because I love the game.  I don't trash other teams or conferences.  I don't root for teams to lose or players to be injured.  That's just wrong, on so many levels.

I'll make chili, pop popcorn and indulge in other tailgate food throughout the season, hopefully with friends and family, in the spirit of enjoying the game.  I'm ready for football!!

A Medical Update

I told you a few weeks ago that I was having vision issues and that I was going to have tests and such, but I never came back and explained any more.  I've had a few questions recently so I thought I should tell you what's going on.  The vision issues in my right eye, coupled with a variety of additional symptoms suggested that have MS.  My doctor decided to pursue that avenue first and a few weeks ago I went in for an MRI of my brain.  This was about two weeks after I had moved to Enid.

I went back to Stillwater for the MRI and it came back having no abnormalities.  To get a second opinion I had my results and scans sent to my friend Liz who is a neurologist in Wyoming.  She said my brain is good and there is no indication of MS, which I'm told can be seen clearly on an MRI if is it present.  So that was good, but it still leaves me with vision problems.  Because everything on the front part of my eye is healthy and normal, my doctor believes that the problem is with my optic nerve, which is why MS was a consideration.  Optic neuritis is often found in MS patients.  While that is ruled out, the problem with my nerve still has not been identified.  I am scheduled to see a neuro-opthamologist in Oklahoma City in the month of October.  In the mean time I have periodic follow-up appointments with my optometrist to monitor any changes in my eye sight.

I still am working on losing weight just because it's an important thing to do.  I fell off the wagon (so to speak) a week or so ago, so I'm working to climb back on, but overall at this point I've lost 12 pounds.  Still have more to go of course, but hopefully I can get back on track soon.

For those that have asked, I appreciate your thoughtfulness and prayers.

Song of the Summer

For me, one of the best things about summer is the music that pumps through the speakers.  I remember specific summers in high school by the music that blared out of my little red Ford Tempo's windows.  I vividly remember my friend Jennifer and I cruising the streets of Huntsville, AL singing along with the Fugees and TLC at the top of our lungs.  This summer Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe was the song of the summer for a lot of people.  It took over youtube and inspired athletes to dance.  Definitely a catchy tune that makes listeners want to move their feet, but for me, the song of the summer is a much slower song by Thompson Square.  Much like Kelly Clarkson's Stronger the story of the entire song doesn't apply to my circumstance.  The song is about taking a chance on a romantic relationship, which doesn't apply to me.  But if I take the relationship part of it out and consider that it's about taking chances in general, the message does apply to me.  I love the chorus...

We may shine, we may shatter

We may be pickin' up the pieces here on after

We are fragile, we are human

We are shaped by the light we let through us

But we break fast, cause we are glass.

When I was a kid, I remember going to Frontier City in Oklahoma City.  One of the first buildings you used to walk past was the glassblower.  You could watch through the window as he or she used heat and air to create figurines.  I was mesmerized by the process occurring through the window.  In high school chemistry I got my chance to work with heat and glass.  My junior year, I remember having a lab in which we were supposed  to make a right angle out of a short tube of glass.  I didn't do well on that assignment because my glass didn't make a perfect right angle and when cooled and laid flat on the counter, one end was higher than the other causing the piece to be unbalanced.  I remember being thankful that I got any grade at all however, because several students dropped their glass, shattering it, and getting an F for the project.

With cooler temperatures today, the true mark of fall, college football, just two weeks away and school either already having started or starting this week, today has felt more like fall.  It has prompted me to spend a good bit of time today reflecting on my summer.  I took a lot of chances and made a lot of changes at a time that they had to happen, but that I was probably too fragile to make them happen.  My choice to share myself in this forum added transparency to that fragility and I've felt a lot like glass.  At times I want to tell people, "be gentle...I'm fragile."  But at the same time, too much fragility suggests weakness and it's taken a lot of strength to turn my life upside down the way that I have this summer.

I'm beginning to shine, although I may still shatter.  I'm still picking up pieces from before.  I'm still fragile, I'm definitely human.  I am allowing myself to be shaped by God's light that moves through me.  I'm still glass, but  am transitioning from being the small figurine variety to the bullet proof variety.  I've done a better job with that transition in my professional life than anywhere else.  I'm still fragile when it comes to my personal and spiritual life, that's going to take time and most of the time it's a day to day thing.  The difference between now and six months ago, however, is that now I have faith that I'll survive a shatter.

I'm not bowing to challenges!

"A challenge only becomes an obstacle when you bow to it."

- Ray Davis

My week has been full of challenges!  If you've read my facebook posts, you know that my Monday morning started out with an encounter with a horse.  I was unloading my car in front of the school where we were presenting and had my back to Main street.  My partner says, "Huh, look at that."  I turned around in time to find myself face to face with a saddled horse that was missing its rider.  I was so startled that I screamed and the horse took off at a trot down Main Street.  About thirty seconds later a woman on a bicycle, talking on her cell phone came riding behind the horse clearly trying to catch the run away.  It was a hilarious sight and it made my morning!

This week was full of back to back presentations.  Each presentation began with the basics of Common Core State Standards and was followed by personalization requested by the local administration.  We presented how to use and design rubrics, how to apply cognitive learning theory in the classroom and how to reflect on the types of questions we ask students to answer.  Every stop presented its own challenges.  We had a web-based video that was a part of our presentation, but that didn't always work out, either because of firewalls, filters or a lack of audio equipment.  In one place we didn't have any AV capability so powerpoint was not an option at all.  We missed an entire presentation one afternoon due to my flat tire.  Wednesday afternoon dealt us our biggest challenge however, because that was the day my partner fell.

My partner and I have gone everywhere together.  It's worked out very well that we've been able to stay together, because there are other coaching partnerships that have not had that capability.  We've been able to prep together, speak together and clean up together.  On Wednesday Carri fell and fractured her elbow which meant I had to fly solo Thursday morning.

I got to our Thursday location and had a new set of challenges.  We design our presentations to be interactive and to include engaging activities in the midst of the time we spend talking.  One of the activities required inflated balloons, which were in my partners car, so I swung by the store on the way to the school to pick up a package of balloons that I needed to blow up before starting.  As I set up the room for my presentation things were going pretty smoothly until I plugged my jump drive into the computer and I had used a newer version of powerpoint than was available on this computer.  We'd presented in several places before this and hadn't run into that so I didn't expect to run into it there, but one of the faculty members graciously volunteered to convert it for me.  As all conversions go however, it wasn't totally smooth.  The conversion deleted graphics, changed animation and jumbled slides.  A few other minor challenges presented themselves throughout the three hour presentation, but overall I felt as though it went well.

I told Carri earlier this week that this job does not feel like work.  I log just as many hours as I did before, but I love my job so much that it is an absolute joy to work.  I found my niche!  I've found that place where I feel like I was meant to be.  I have a great partner and we're part of a great team around this state.  We're on the cutting edge of something big in this state.  I can't wait to see what comes next...challenges and all!

Tuesday is NOT my day for cars!!

Two weeks ago (on a Tuesday) in Oklahoma City my car decided not to start and thanks to my cousin coming to the rescue I was able to get the car to Auto Zone and put in a new battery.  Today it was my tire.

My partner and I had a tight schedule today.  We left one city at 11:30 and had to be in another city at 12:30 and the drive in between was about 40 minutes.  As we were packing my car to leave our first stop it began to rain.  Thank goodness for the rain because we definitely need it!  Since we had a little bit of time, we decided to stop at Pizza Hut and have the salad bar for lunch.  By the time we left after eating, the rain was coming down in a steady downpour.  It wasn't storming, but just a good soaking rain.  Somewhere between our lunch stop and twenty minutes down the road, I managed to get a flat tire.

I've changed flats before.  I've even changed a flat in dress clothes before, but it's been a while.  Since we weren't going to make it to our next stop on time, my partner called to tell them of our trouble.  The secretary said she would get in touch with their transportation person and have him come help us.  We were only five miles away so they weren't going to have to come far to find us.  Not to mention it was a two lane highway and we were the only stopped vehicle around...finding us wasn't going to be a hardship.  Since help was on the way, I got out and started rearranging the stuff in the back of the car so that I could get to the spare.  It had rained long enough and was continuing to rain so I was getting quite wet and my shoes (which I may have to consider trashing) were sinking in the very squishy mud.

While waiting on the transportation person from the school district that was waiting on us to come speak to them, a gentleman who works for Alfalfa County drove up behind us and asked if we needed help.  I told him that we had called someone but that I wasn't sure when they were going to be there exactly so I was trying to get to my spare.  He kindly changed my tire in the rain.  I stood watching him, thankful that he was willing to help.  I am capable of changing a tire, but not as practiced as some so it probably would have taken me longer than it took our Good Samaritan.  We were close to in business, he was lowering the jack, my partner was telling the district that we would be there by 1:30 and then the other shoe dropped.  My spare was flat. I've never had a flat tire on this car before.  The jack and spare were being used for the first time today, but that doughnut sure was missing some air!!

So it was Good Samaritan to the rescue again.  He called the County Commissioner for Alfalfa County to see about sending someone out with an air compressor.  It just so happens that my partner is married to one of the County Commissioners for Garfield County, so when the Alfalfa County Commissioner found out a colleague's wife was on the side of the road there was a little heckling, but he very promptly sent us a second gentleman who kindly filled my spare with air.

When my partner told the administrator that was waiting on us that the spare was flat he said...sounds like you girls should just work out your problems, we can re-schedule.  We felt really badly about the missed engagement, but it wasn't something we could help.  The school was understanding and we certainly appreciate that.  By the time we drove away from our tire changing spot, we were both pretty soaked and my shoes and feet were muddy.  We made it back to town, going forty miles an hour, and I took my car in to Hibdon to have them see about possibly repairing or if needed replacing my tire.

We were only alone on the side of the road for a few minutes before our first Good Samaritan arrived.  I am blessed to have the skills to deal with problems like that, but I'm also blessed to live in a place where citizens are ready to help.  I've learned a lot about the position of County Commissioner in the last few weeks and I'm sure I'll learn more.  I also know that I'll be paying closer attention when I vote for that office now that I know what they do!

We're back on the road tomorrow, in my partner's car this time, every day is an adventure, and I wouldn't trade a single thing!  Including my rain soaked, flat tire experience!