Brunch and Broadway

What a fantastic day!  Kayla and I started today by sleeping late.  We didn't get up until 10:00.  Since we went to bed a little after 2:00 we were due for some extra z's.  Shortly after getting up I learned my first New York lesson of the day, apparently brunch is served here from 10:00-4:00.  We went to a great restaurant in the West Village called The Half Pint.  Here's a pic from their website.  The table on the left in the corner is the one where we sat.  It's actually known for being a beer bar but we went for their brunch menu.  Kayla enjoyed the eggs benedict and I had a mozzarella, tomato and basil omelet.  The groupon deal that we had included mimosas.  It was a fun way to start the day.

From there we walked over to SoHo and did a little shopping.  I love going to the Scholastic Store there.  Since I'm not in the classroom anymore, I don't buy many books, but I love walking through the store.  They have a huge Magic School Bus that you can walk through.  They have a fun Clifford display and a fabulous Harry Potter display that includes a lego set to build Hogwarts.  We left just before The Grinch was supposed to make an appearance, but before leaving Kayla and I made a deal.  She's going to read the Harry Potter series (which is a first for her) and I'm going to read The Hunger Games (which will be a first for me).  We left there and went to Old Navy where Kayla found some great deals and then worked our way back to the Subway to head back to her apartment.

Tonight we had reservations for dinner at Stecchino which is an Italian place in the Hell's Kitchen area of Manhattan.  We met up with Kayla's friend Dana for the evening.  We went from there to the Snapple Theater Center where we saw a quirky play called "Perfect Crime."  We sat on the fourth row and enjoyed the play.  Most of the theater productions I've been to were musicals so this was a fun change.

The play was in the theater district which isn't far from Times Square so when the play was over we walked through Times Square and took a couple of pictures.  One drag queen approached us and asked me to take a picture of him.  It takes all kinds to make the world go round, especially in Times Square!  We worked our way to Harold's Square and Korea Town before we made it to our last stop of the evening, Ayza.  Ayza is a Wine and Chocolate bar and it was delicious!  We sat outside to enjoy warm spiced wine and a chocolate pizza topped with strawberries and bananas.

It was a perfect way to end the evening!  I'm so glad I got to spend the day with my sister.  Now for some sleep so we can get back at it tomorrow!

The Joys of Traveling

I love to travel.  Flying, driving, riding...you name it, I enjoy it.  Today I had the pleasure of traveling from Oklahoma City to New York City.  I am a planner when it comes to flying.  Here are my personal rules for flying.

1)  Do not book long trips through priceline or travelocity.

      A few years ago I booked myself and three co-workers to travel to a conference in Portland, Oregon through travelocity.  While that site may have gotten us the best fare, doing so meant four different airlines for the four flights it took us to get to and from OKC and Portland.  Changing airlines like that meant running between gates because generally speaking in large airports each major airline has their own concourse, different flights with different airlines means changing concourses which can be tricky and certainly takes time.  Depending on the airport it may also mean claiming your bags and re-checking them or having to leave a secured area, having to go through security again.  If I'm going to book a trip that requires a plane change, I book with a specific airline and so far that has allowed me to avoid some of that craziness.

2)  Do not schedule connecting flights through DFW.

       I avoid flying through Dallas Fort Worth if I can help it.  I don't mind flying and I don't get motion sickness...for the most part...but the flight from OKC to Dallas is all of thirty minutes of flight time and the plane feels a little like a tin can.  It is small so you feel every bump and it's such a fast up and down that it often makes me queasy.  That being the case, I try to fly through other cities.

3)  Schedule at least an hour between flights.

       I don't like to be rushed.  It doesn't bother me in the slightest to spend time sitting at the gate waiting to board.  I would much rather do that, than run between gates or skip a bathroom stop just to ensure I can make it to my next flight.  If at all possible I schedule at least an hour between arrival and my next departure. My preference is more like an hour and a half, because really you aren't waiting that long.

4)  Only take a carry-on that can fit under the seat in front of you.

       I don't enjoy hoisting my bag into the overhead bins and inevitably when I board there isn't space in the bin above my seat so my bag ends up someplace else on the plane.  I avoid all of that by only taking one carry-on and making sure it's small enough to go under the seat in front of me.

In my planning for this trip I broke rules number three and four.  Our boss let us go early today so I had no problem getting into the Oklahoma City airport and through security.  I don't mind security.  I try to be efficient about how I pack my things so that I don't hold up the line too much with the shoes and carry-on e-ray process, but security is there to keep me safe, so I don't get in a twist about it.  I allow plenty of time before my flight to go through the appropriate procedures, so for me security isn't a big deal.  My time in the OKC airport today was eventful only in the sense that there are some interesting people to watch.  A fellow passenger was convinced that I must be going to Germany with all of the luggage I was taking.  One gentleman got tired of waiting on the only attendant that was working to help people board so he tried to scan his own boarding pass.  He got a pretty stern look for that one.  One lady was traveling with her poodle and to keep him from being anxious on the plane she gave him medicine that made him drowsy which meant he looked a little inebriated as he was walking around before they boarded.  People watching is always so much fun.

Because I had broken rule number four and had a roller bag to go with my backpack as carry-ons I had to do a valet check for the roller bag.  Oklahoma City pretty well has all connection flights which means that the planes are small and the overhead bins cannot hold roller bags.  The airline employee then gives you a gate check tag for you to use.  You drop your bag at the end of the jetway as you board and you should be able to pick it up when you deplane.  Tonight when I got to Detroit, this gate check business caused me a major problem.

I only had 45 minutes between flights tonight, I broke rule number three.  As I deplaned in Detroit I also had to wait on my gate checked bag.  It should be a pretty quick turn around for you to get your bag, but for whatever reason that wait this evening was about fifteen minutes.  The other issue that cause a problem for me was that I got off the plane at gate B5 and had to go to gate A75 to make my connection.  That is gate 75 out of a possible 78 in Concourse A.  It's a long walk let me tell you!  While there are escalators and moving sidewalks to assist you, it's still a long walk.  What I discovered as I approached gate A70...after hoofing it for all that way...was that there is a tram at the Detriot airport.  I was more concerned about remembering my flight and gate number than I was about finding the fastest way to get there and ultimately it cost me because I essentially jogged between gates.  You know me well enough to know that I don't jog, but by golly I wasn't going to miss that plane!

My last flight was interesting because I sat next to two sixteen year old boys who are students at the Interlochen School of Dance, which is a boarding school in Michigan.  They were very polite and kind throughout the trip.  One of the two is from Connecticut and was coming home for Thanksgiving break.  The other is from Denmark and he was visiting the Connecticut family for the holiday.  We got into a conversation about the origin of Thanksgiving and the must do's in NYC.  I'm sure they will enjoy their time here.

I am exhausted myself and am going to call it a night.  It's just after 2:00 in the morning and I know that I have many more adventures tomorrow.  I loved getting to hug my sister's neck and laugh at a Friends re-run while we planned our day for tomorrow.  My vacation is just beginning!!

On the road again

I love watching the CMAs.  As a country music fan, it's exciting for me to watch the performances, awards and banter among the stars.  I don't always agree with the award winners, but I enjoy the show.  I sing along at the top of my lungs and laugh out loud at the carefully crafted jokes that walk a fine line of appropriateness.  In last week's award show Willie Nelson was recognized for his lifetime achievement in country music.  The tribute to him was so much fun to watch and hearing him sing "On the Road Again" made me smile.  When we were kids and my parents loaded us and all of our stuff in the van to head to my grandparents' house, "On the Road Again" was part of the beginning of our trip.

This week I actually was able to get on the road again.  After a week of transmission issues and a car in the shop I was able to get back to my school visits on Wednesday.  It was a busy three days trying to fit everything in that I missed last week, but I loved it!  I told my mom I took the long way around to a couple of places just because I could.

Next week I hit the road in a different direction.  On Sunday I leave for my monthly Oklahoma City trip.  Five days of training with a team that I get to know and love more every time I'm down there.  You can't help but bond when you spend all day in a small room, sitting almost on top of each other, eating every meal together and sleeping down the hall from each other for five days every three weeks.

Friday however I begin my vacation.  Friday I fly out of Oklahoma City and head to New York City.  It's been a little over a year since I was there last and I've only been in the summer so far, this will be my first cold weather trip.  I am so excited!  I get to spend four days with my sister before my parents and brothers fly up to join us so that we can all spend Thanksgiving together.  I even get to have my birthday in the Big Apple.  I've not been big on celebrating my birthday in recent years, but who isn't excited to celebrate their birthday in the city that never sleeps?   Given the recent weather challenges that area has had, I'm not sure what kind of plans we'll have to change but the time with my family will be fun regardless.  One of my goals while I'm there this time is to go to the Roosevelt Presidential Library.  I told you back in the spring that I would like to visit every presidential library and this would be my fourth of the thirteen in existence.  Several to go still, but I'm hoping to get to see one in about a week.  We can take a train out of New York to get to Hyde Park.  I've never ridden a train like that before so that in and of itself would be exciting!  I've ridden subways in several cities, but I don't count those as a train like this one.

However it works out, I'm looking forward to having sister time and family time for a whole week!!  My posts will definitely become more frequent while I'm traveling.  It's a new journey!

** Picture from Google Images.

The Green Eyed Monster

If I were to identify something that I struggling with daily it would be envy.  It is not my only struggle but it is my constant struggle.  In an article that I found online author Joseph Epstein is writing about the seven deadly sins and he has this to say about envy:

"Surely it is the one that people are least likely to want to own up to, for to do so is to admit that one is probably ungenerous, mean, small-hearted."

I agree completely!  To admit that I envy those around me makes me seem ungrateful for what I have or what I am and I certainly don't want that to be the case.  I am grateful.  I know that I am blessed in many areas of my life.  Yet when I step back and look at my life as compared to the lives of others, the green eyed monster flares inside.  Epstein also writes:

Is envy a "feeling," an "emotion," a "sin," a "temperamental disposition," or a "world-view"? Might it also be a Rorschach test: Tell what you envy, and you reveal a great deal about yourself. It can be all of these things--and more. No one would doubt that, whatever else it is, envy is certainly a charged, indeed a supercharged, word: One of the few words left in the English language that retains the power to scandalize. Most of us could still sleep decently if accused of any of the other six deadly sins; but to be accused of envy would be seriously distressing, so clearly does such an accusation go directly to character. The other deadly sins, though all have the disapproval of religion, do not so thoroughly, so deeply demean, diminish, and disqualify a person. Not the least of its stigmata is the pettiness implicit in envy.

What I hope is that you were unaware of this struggle until you read this post, because that would suggest to me that I am able to overcome the depth of these emotions and not allow them to effect my relationships with those around me.  I am not comfortable revealing what it is that I covet.  I realize will cause you to speculate on your own.  I'm willing to weather the speculation to keep that to myself.  I'd like to ask however that you join my prayers.

I pray daily that God give me the strength and confidence not to envy those around me.  I pray that He strengthens my character and improves my vision so that the things I covet move out of my line of sight so that I might see Him more clearly.  I also pray that God helps me be kind to myself throughout my struggle.  I am incredibly unforgiving of my flaws.  I do not allow myself room for error or grace for the times that I falter.  I pray I can better acknowledge His grace as I attempt to work through this struggle.

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Epstein, J. (2003).  "The green-eyed monster: Envy is nothing to be jealous of." Retreived November 5, 2012 from http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2003/0307.epstein.html.

All Questions...No Answers

I've rolled several blog post ideas around in my head over the last couple of weeks.  It's been over two weeks since I've written anything.  There are a variety of reasons for that and I've not resolved in my head if they are reasons that I will share in this forum.  I will say however, that as I've tried to think of things that I could write about that would reflect where I am personally and perhaps challenge you to consider things differently, I keep circling back to questions that have no answers.  So tonight, in my sleeplessness, I've chosen to share those questions with you, perhaps you'll have some answers.  If not, then perhaps I've given you something to think about.

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."  Luke 12:48

This verse has been running through my head daily for the last few weeks.  Our preacher at church a few weeks ago cautioned us about taking individual scriptures out of context and attempting to apply it to our lives or circumstance.  I'm throwing caution to the wind and doing exactly what he cautioned against.  I know there is a context here that I am not considering, I'm choosing to put that fact aside for a minute.  

Considering the truth of this statement, is the converse also true?  For those to whom much is given, much will be required...does that mean those that aren't given much do not have many expectations?  

How does one go about defining "much"?  Everyone who has been given "much."  "Much" what?  Possessions?  Money?  Time?  Talent?  I believe in the context of the parable "much" refers to possessions, but it is a parable and therefore would have multiple meanings, would it not?

So then that begs the question are blessings relative?  If I take stock of what I might have "much" of, I would not necessarily consider my possessions to be "much" but I know there are others with less than I.  I do not consider myself to have much money, yet I know there are others who struggle more than I.  The same for time or talent.  Does that make blessings relative?  If blessings and "much" are relative, what then can be the expectation?

When I was at the eye doctor a couple of weeks ago one of his questions to me was, are you a perfectionist?  I immediately answered, yes.  My second thought was, I wonder why he asked me that.  He went on to explain that my personality type was such that I would not tolerate unclear vision.  He said, there are some people who don't seem to care if their vision is clear or not, however you as a perfectionist, need everything to be clear.  Now while he was referring specifically to my vision, there is a bigger application as well.  I want things to be clear and I am frustrated when they are not.  I told one of my co-workers last week, I will gladly play by whatever rules are set, but I want to know the rules.  In this case, I want to know the expectation.  Am I a person with "much" of whom much will be required?

That being said, I'm not trying to determine the expectation because I want to mark something off a checklist or do just enough to get by.  That has never been part of my personality, I'm an over-achiever.  That's not something I publicly own very often, but there you go.  I'm an over-achiever.  I wonder if there are OAA meetings or something?  You know...Over-Achievers Anonymous?  I'm quite certain I need professional assistance to ever become okay with just achieving.  But I digress...

Am I a person with "much" of whom much is required?  If I am, I guarantee I am not living up to those expectations.  We were asked tonight in life group what we wanted to be when we grew up.  What plans did we have for ourselves that we set out to achieve and how did we see God acting in those plans.  I told the story of my professional career.  I've posted it here before, but here's the short version.  I started college saying I'd never teach.  I majored in elementary education.  I said I'd never teach below middle school.  I student taught in second grade.  I said I'd never teach students younger than second grade.  My first job was full day kindergarten.  I said I'd never teach younger than kindergarten.  I taught preschool during grad school.  I said I'd never teach special education.  I have a degree to work with struggling students.  I said I'd never work for the state department of education.  I currently work for the state department of education.

If you had asked me ten years ago where I would be at this moment, I would never have come up with the situation I'm in.  The desires I remember having are not currently a part of my life story.  My story is still being written, so things may change.  Where I struggle is, if I'm not one with "much," why am I not?  Does that even make sense?  Let me try again...depending on how you define "much," I am not one with "much."  If the converse of the verse is true, that those without "much" would therefore not have much required, would that then mean that not much is required of me?  If not much is required of me, why is that?

When I talk to teachers about their expectations for students, inevitably there are one or two (if not more) for whom that teacher does not have high expectations.  There are varying reasons for low expectations...that is for another posting...but I wonder...am I that student?  Am I someone for whom there are low expectations, and if so, why?

I warned you with the title that there are all questions and no answers, certainly no easy ones.  I've wrestled with these questions and this circular thinking for the last couple of weeks.  I imagine it is something I'll wrestle with for some time to come.  That wrestling in and of itself probably suggests a faith issue within myself that needs to be addressed.  Maybe I'll circle around that one too....

Breathing a Sigh of Relief

I had an appointment this morning at Dean McGee Eye Institute in Oklahoma City with Dr. Farris to get more information about my vision problems.  My parents drove down from Tulsa to go to the appointment with me.  Overall this evening I am relieved with the results.  To best explain the outcome I want to start with what the problem isn't.  It isn't a tumor, that was evident in my MRI.  It isn't a neurological disease or disorder, my brain is healthy.  It isn't a problem with my optic nerve, there is no indication of inflammation or disease.  It isn't an eye disease that will cause me to lose my eyesight, I will not become blind because of this.

So if all of those things are true, then what is it you ask?  I have an ocular surface disease.  There are a few things at play here.  First, there is a mucous membrane on the surface of your eye, the function of which (among other things) is to provide clarity of vision.  My membrane is 1/3 the thickness that it should be, so if a normal membrane is 100% mine is 30% in thickness.  Second, there are goblet cells in the eye, the function of which is to secrete an oil that combines with the water created by your tear ducts that lubricates and supports that mucous membrane.  I have a low count of those cells which means that my eyes routinely do not get the kind of lubrication necessary for clear vision.  I am creating enough tears, but the goblet cells are required for sustained lubrication and that is something I am missing.

In addition to those two things specific to my eye, I also have some rosatia around my eyes and some veining on the sides of my nose (where my glasses rest) that the doctor said is typically seen in 50-60 year old patients, rather than in someone my age.  This time last year, I had a a very bad case of eczema also around my eyes.  If you saw me at all during that time I literally looked like a raccoon.  Steroids corrected the problem over a couple of weeks and it has not returned since.  All three of these things...rosatia, eczema and ocular surface disease...indicate the presence of an autoimmune condition.

There is no cure for my eye condition.  I cannot regrow a mucous membrane or increase my goblet cell production.  What I can do is learn to manage my symptoms so that my vision improves and that includes a three part treatment plan.  First, I have an oral prescription that I will take daily for the next six months for sure, probably longer.  Second, today the doctor placed punctal plugs in my tear ducts.  Using a mirror, if you pull down your bottom eyelid and look toward your nose, you should see a small hole that looks like a pin prick.  You have one in each eye on the bottom and one in each eye on the top, for a total of four.  One way to treat my lubrication problem is to plug those holes so that the lubrication that my eyes can make naturally doesn't drain out.  Today, Dr. Farris placed silicon plugs in my lower ducts.  They feel a little funny right now, I know eventually I'll get to where I don't feel them, but for now it's kind of like a contact lens or a grain of sand I can't get rid of.  They can be removed or I could accidentally rub them out if I rub my eyes too hard, so I have to get used to not rubbing my eyes.  (Tough to do by the way when it's a foreign object around your eye!)  If I do accidentally rub them out they can easily be replaced.  The third part of my treatment plan is regular use of eye drops, up to ten times daily.  There is a specific drop that I can buy over the counter that is specifically for someone with the goblet cell condition that I have.  Not all drops do the same things, but luckily at this point I do not need prescription drops, there is an over the counter option.

As the doctor pointed out today, my career choice and hobby of reading create a visual challenge that other people might not face.  Because I spend a lot of time focusing on text or a computer screen, diminished clarity impacts me in a significant way.  That being the case it is important for me to follow this treatment plan to restore clarity to my vision.  I'm currently in a chronic stage with this problem but by following the treatment plan I should get to a more manageable place.  Unless I have a major setback or emergency, I will not have to go back to Dean McGee, my local doctor will be able to handle future treatment.  I've been told to give the treatment plan three months before making any changes to it, such as adding plugs in my upper ducts if I haven't made sufficient improvement.

When I went to bed last night I was trying to mentally prepare myself for the worst case scenario of permanently losing my vision, a tumor or disease that would require surgery or some other equally serious diagnosis.  I am relieved tonight that it is a manageable condition.  It is something I will deal with it for the rest of my life and the investigation into an autoimmune condition is just beginning.  Additional testing with an internist may be necessary to determine the extent of my condition and any additional systems or organs that may be effected.  I thank you, and my parents thank you, from the bottom of our hearts for all of your prayers and support throughout these times of living with the unknown.  I still have hurdles...I will continue to limit how much I read and I will not be able to drive at night until I get my clarity back, but I have a plan that will hopefully get me there.

At the end of my appointment today Dr. Farris asked if he could pray with me and very eloquently asked the Lord to heal me and bless me on my road to recovery.  His prayer collectively with your prayers have allowed me to feel safe, loved and supported.  Thank you.

Breaking My Own Rule

I've broken my own rule in the last couple of weeks.  I have never been one to read more than one book at a time.  I start a book and finish it before starting another.  I do the same thing with magazines.  I even eat that way...one thing at a time.  I've broken that rule in the last couple of weeks however, by starting multiple books.  I read a couple of novels in one weekend for pleasure, but everything I'm reading right now is professional material.  Here's the run down...

If you read my blog for educators this week, I talked about this book Annual Growth For All Students; Catch-up Growth For Those Who Are Behind by Lynn Fielding, Nancy Kerr and Paul Rosier.  It is the study of an elementary school in Washington that had a large number of students struggling to meet state benchmarks and how they turned things around.  It was recommended by one of my literacy trainers as well as a teammate.  According to the American Legislative Exchange Council Oklahoma is 43rd in the national in educational performance.  Other reports list Oklahoma as slightly higher or lower if you look at specific subgroups, subjects or other educational factors.  While there are pockets of very successful districts in our state, the state as a whole is not performing as well as we could.  We have excellent potential, but we need to make some changes.  This book offers a unique perspective to making needed change.

Coaching for Balance:  How to Meet the Challenges of Literacy Coaching by Jan Miller Burkins is one of the first literacy coaching books that I bought a few years ago when I knew I wanted to pursue this as a career path.  It's also one of the first books about literacy coaching that was written by an active literacy coach.  I'm not very far into this one yet, but the practical suggestions that it provides for me in this new role are very helpful.  There are parts of it that reinforce what I already knew, and other parts that challenge me to think differently about some things.

(Hopefully this image isn't too blurry!)

This is another book that I received from my training trip to Oklahoma City, MAX Teaching with Reading and Writing:  Classroom Activities for Helping Students Learn New Subject Matter While Acquiring Literacy Skills.  It is written by a career teacher, Dr. Mark Forget, with activities for how to teach content such as science and social studies while also including literacy instruction.  I have a fifth grade teacher that has asked me specifically for these kinds of ideas.  In addition this type of integration is what Common Core State Standards are asking teachers to do.

This book is the one I will begin in the morning.  Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink was recommended by the same trainer that recommended Annual Growth.  I recently purchased a subscription to audible.com so that I can download books to listen to while I'm driving.  Tomorrow I have two and a half hours in the car (round trip) so I thought it was a perfect time to start this one.

As I've said before there are so many books and so little time!  I'm hoping with audible.com I can make my drive time more productive and entertaining, as well as being a good solution to my current vision issues.  I don't usually read (or listen to) more than one book at a time because I can't always make the mental leap from one to the other.  I've discovered it's a little easier to make these leaps because they are nonfiction rather than fiction.  There's no chance that I'm going to confuse characters or story lines with these texts.  

If you have other text recommendations for me feel free to let me know, Drive is six hours worth of listening and with my schedule being what it is this week, I'll be done with it by noon on Thursday.  I'll need a new audio book before the week is out!  What are you reading?