Is this really it?

I would like to think that I'm not the only person who ever wonders, is this really it?  There has to be more to life than this right?  I have the required basics of life; food, water, shelter, but there has to be more to life than that, right?  I may have the basics, but most of the time I still feel unfulfilled, and lately the question...is this really it...has echoed loudly in my ears.

That question may sound as though I am unhappy with life, but that's not true.  I'm not unhappy, I just would like to think that there's more to life than I'm experiencing now.  Finding more means searching for more, in an active and healthy way.  This year I've embarked on three major challenges.  I call them major challenges, because all three require changes in routine, changes in behavior and changes in thought.  I'm calling 2017 my "get yourself together" year.  I'm three weeks in and things are looking promising.

Challenge 1:  Improve my spiritual health.
I don't think anyone is ever finished growing in their spiritual walk.  I don't think God designed us that way.  I believe He designed us to ever seek Him, causing our journey to walk with Him to be an ongoing experience.  My journey this year is being aided by the 365 Day Daily Bible Reading Plan that Park Plaza Church of Christ distributed to its members just before January began.  If followed, the plan will lead me through reading the entire Bible within a year.  This challenge has been presented to me before and I've seen many different plans for reading the Bible through in a year.  So far this plan is working for me.  Each day I read a section of the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs.  So far, so good, I've not missed a day yet and each day I find encouragement and enlightenment in those scriptures that show me I am on the right track.  Hopefully that will continue.

Challenge 2:  Improve my physical health.
It's no secret that weight loss is a battle for me, in fact I would argue weight loss and weight management is a difficult challenge for everyone.  I decided to view this challenge not just as weight loss, but as establishing healthier habits.  It's not just about shedding pounds, although if I make healthier choices, that should be a handy by-product.  It's about having better energy and feeling better about myself.  I am working to internalize the thinking that "God doesn't make junk."  Three weeks in and I've managed to average weight loss of two pounds per week, almost entirely eliminate pop and sweet tea from my beverage choices, and exercise 3-5 times per week.  I have more growth and improvement to do in all of those areas, but I'm proud of myself for the efforts I've managed to maintain for three weeks.  Hopefully that will continue.

Challenge 3:  Improve my financial health.
I told my mom recently that one of the most frustrating things for me about being single is not having someone to help talk through financial matters and choices with me.  If this was something I was going to tackle, I knew I would need help.  I had to find someone to talk to about my choices and who can give sound advice.  I have a good job, and resources to meet all of my obligations, but as many of my educator friends know there isn't much wiggle room after that.  I knew I needed help to find wiggle room, and to improve my financial health.  I've found help and a path that I can follow. While I am at the very beginning of my journey, I hope that the early encouragement and success I've found will continue.

Life is hard.  I don't think I am alone in my thinking.  Life is hard.  It is constant choices, followed by the consequences of those choices and more choices to change those consequences that cause consequences of their own.  I know there is more to life than a day to day existence, hopefully the challenges I'm taking on this year will help me live a more healthy and fulfilled life.

Living Out Loud on Social Media

If you know me well, you know that I struggle in social situations.  I have a hard time with small talk and pleasantries.  I have a hard time getting to know people.  I'm not at all confident when introducing myself to people.  When I took the REACH coach job, my partner and I were supposed to visit and introduce ourselves to all of the districts in our assigned region.  I was sick!  I'm not sure what how I thought I was going to meet all of those people, but the prospect of introducing myself to people gave me such anxiety.  Lucky for me, God blessed me with a partner in Carri Simunek who was willing to walk through doors first.  Every school we visited together, I asked her to walk through the door first and make introductions.  Throughout my two years in that position, I learned how to be more confident and how to introduce myself.  I got better at small talk and pleasantries, but it does not come naturally for me at all.  I still have to work at it.

Where I have found that I can be most transparent and where I am the most comfortable is on screen.  I am one of those.  If you were to say I hide behind the screen, you probably wouldn't be wrong.  I'm better in print.  Social media posts, emails, texts....all kinds of print.  When I first joined the social media world my sister, Kayla, had to talk me into creating a Facebook account.  I was very unsure of the whole thing.  I didn't figure there would be anyone that would want to be my friend.  It was all about being social, and I wasn't.  What I have found though is that social media allows me to live out loud.

I don't post everything I think or do (thank heavens right?).  I do however show more of my personality and more of my reality through social media than you'll get in a few brief encounters with me.  I've discovered that my posts work as conversation starters for me when I'm face to face with people.  So thank you for reading, thank you for indulging my culinary adventures, my reading challenge and embracing me as I live out loud.

The Challenge of a Reading Challenge

If we're Facebook friends you know that I am in the midst of a 2016 Reading Challenge.  I've always been an avid reader.  I remember leaning over the side of the bed with a flashlight, reading a book strategically placed under the bed, in a room I shared with my sister, when I was in elementary school.  As a middle schooler I remember hiding my book inside the textbook I was supposed to be reading during class.  In high school I backed off of pleasure reading significantly because the reading demands for my AP English class consumed all of my time.  As a college student and adult I rediscovered pleasure reading and turned my love for it into a career.  As a reader however, I have tended to have a narrow lane.  I find an author or series I like and read everything that author or series has to offer, over and over again in many cases.

In 2014 I decided to challenge myself to get out of the habit of reading the same things over and over.  I decided I would read one fiction book, followed by a nonfiction book, alternating throughout the year and attempting to read 50 by the end of the calendar year.  I gave up on the alternating at some point during the year and ended up reading 36.

In 2015, I found two reading challenge lists on Pinterest that I thought I would try.  The first, the Popsugar 2015 Ultimate Reading Challenge, was the one I stuck with the most.  The second, also by Popsugar is 50 Books, 50 States:  A Literary Map of America.  I discovered if I read the 50 states list, I would also satisfy the requirements of the Ultimate Reading Challenge list.  Piece of cake right?  The titles are all there for me.  Except the reader inside me kept me going to back to titles that were comfortable and justifying their fit into the reading challenge.  In February of 2015 I got derailed in my quest for 50 books.  After my brother died I stopped reading.  For months I would not pick up a book. Part of my grief journey included not allowing myself to feel pleasure.  I felt guilty for being happy or satisfied, so I avoided things that I enjoyed, which included reading.  After regular counseling, time and self-reflection, I began doing things I enjoyed again and in the latter part of the year, I pushed and speed read, managing to read 37.

In 2016, I found a new Reading Challenge List, still from Popsugar, the 2016 Ultimate Reading Challenge.  After reading five books in the last week, I'm currently sitting at 19 books completed.  Here are some challenges I have in getting this list done... 1) If I don't start with the reading challenge criteria, the book I select often doesn't fit the list.  (Only about 12 of the 19 are on the challenge list.)  2)  When I am working, I read less.  3)  It takes me a lot longer to finish a nonfiction book than it does a fiction one.

I'll keep plowing, but given how far behind I am, it is very likely that for the third year in a row, I won't hit 50 books.  A failed goal.  Again.  Maybe I should aim for 38?

George H. W. Bush Presidential Library

On Saturday, my mom and I visited the George H. W. Bush Presidential Library on the campus of Texas A & M University.  It was my first visit to this library and to College Station at all.

One of the cool things about presidential libraries, at least for me, is that I learn so much while I'm there!  I had no idea that President Bush isn't originally from Texas, or that he held numerous federal government jobs and posts before running for president himself.  It was an excellent visit.  I enjoyed getting to share this one with my mom.  Here's a sampling of what we saw....

Oval Office Replication

A small scale replication of parts of the White House

At the exhibit where I learned that at one time George H. W. Bush was the head of the CIA, we were able to scan our hand and watch this TV screen as it focused in on exactly where we were standing!  I'm the one closest to the bottom of this picture.

If you're ever down in the College Station area, you should stop at this presidential library!

Daily Scripture Writing

I've never been good at daily Bible reading.  I was envious in college of those that could start a plan and stick with it, because that's not something I've ever been able to do.  Start a plan...yes.  Finish a plan...no.  Then on Friday I saw the picture below posted by my friend, Kristen Chapman for a July schedule of daily scripture writing.

This was very interesting to me.  I enjoy handwriting notes or letters.  The literacy professional in me knows that the act of writing creates memory traces that help me better recall the things I've written.  The writer in me just enjoys the feel of a pen or pencil moving across the page.  This scripture writing plan allows me to put something I enjoy...writing, with something I'm not very good at...daily scripture reading to hopefully create a new routine that fosters my spiritual growth.

After seeing the picture and reading some of Kristen's friends' comments, I knew this would be a blessing for me, so I went looking for the source.  I found the blog, Sweet Blessings.  I began my scripture writing on July 1st, and it's already been a blessing to me and it's only been three days!  I'm sure I'll change and tweak how I do it going forward, but for now, I'm spending time with God daily and that's the important part.

Food Blogging in My Future?

Uh, probably not.  So since getting back to this blogging business and sharing my attempt at healthy eating, I've had people ask questions about what I'm eating.  I'm going to share this week's recipes with you, but before I do there are some things you should know.

     1)  I do not make up my own recipes.  I am a recipe follower.  I find recipes with ingredients that I like and recognize, then read the directions.  If it's not too complicated I give it a whirl.  Key point -- I have to recognize the ingredients.  I once thought I would branch out of my comfort zone and purchase saffron for a recipe, thinking I would add to my spice cabinet.  That was until I got to the spice aisle and a small container of saffron was $19 and some change.  Uh, no thanks.  I'll stick to what I know.
     2)  I often have culinary disasters.  It takes me forever to cook or make anything because I have terrible knife skills and tend to cook everything too hot which sometimes causes small fires.  Just one, in my oven, and it wasn't really my fault, the coil was faulty.
     3)  I'm trying.  In opposition to #1, I am trying to branch out and try new things.  I'm still not purchasing saffron any time soon, but I am attempting to expand my palate.

I love Pinterest.  It took me a long time to love it, but now that I understand how it works, I'm on Pinterest daily.  I use it primarily for recipes, entertaining and education.  Occasionally I'll look up hair styles I wish I had, home decor that would look good in a house that's nicer than mine and outfits that are way trendier than I am, but mostly I stick to recipes.  That being said, the three things I prepared tonight are all Pinterest recipes.  It is very easy to get lost on Pinterest and to find things way too difficult to execute (at least for me), but if you're patient you'll find what you're looking for.

I posted on Facebook last week that I was trying Overnight, Refrigerator Oatmeal for the first time.  I've discovered I love it!  I can make it the night before (important because I am not a morning person) and enjoy it in the morning.  Since I typically have a breakfast burrito from Sonic, where the carhops may or may not recognize me and know my name, making my own breakfast is a big deal.  Last week I tried blueberry and maple syrup, this week it's apple and cinnamon.  I found this recipe at The Yummy Life.  There are several flavors to try, I'll eventually work my way through them.  It's very easy to do and once you get in a rhythm it doesn't take long.

For lunch for the rest of this week I am going Greek so to speak....or maybe Italian, but that didn't rhyme.  Since one of my get healthy goals was to reduce my carbs I'm trying not to eat bread.  That rules out sandwiches for lunch.  And since I'm not big on big leafy salads all the time, I have to be a little out of the box.  I found a recipe for Antipasto "No Bread" Roll-Ups on Organize Yourself Skinny.  There are some new ingredients involved here for me.  I like hummus, but haven't had red pepper hummus and I've not had roasted red peppers either, so this will be a bit of an adventure.  My ham and turkey aren't smoked like the recipe called for, but here's how it turned out...

I paired my roll-ups with a cucumber Greek salad that I found on Belle of the Kitchen.  The new ingredient for me here is Feta cheese.  The gamble with all of these new ingredients is if I don't like it it's a waste of money and when you're talking about $4.50 for about a cup of cheese, that's a risk.  In this case I decided it was worth the risk, I would just be cautious about how much I used until I knew I liked it.  I wanted to make a different recipe that included a creamy dill dressing (using Greek yogurt) but I didn't have any dill and a third trip to the grocery store in two days was out of the question.  This is plan B...

Put it all together, add a few olives on the side and voila....

I'm sure I'm not doing all of this healthy eating thing right.  I know I have a lot to learn, but I'm trying to make use of what I have already learned to at least make decisions that keep me away from the drive through.  According to my probably unreliable bathroom scale, I'm down a little.  Down is good.  I appreciate all of the support and kind comments I've received, it is helping me maintain the stick-to-it-ness that often eludes me....

Travel Plans

I love making travel plans!  And being the Type A, detailed individual that I am, I make a lot of them.  When traveling to Philly a few years ago for instance, I had a map of the area, an itinerary for each day, and as many attraction tickets as it was reasonable to purchase ahead of time.  I'm a planner.

So when I decided that I deserve a vacation just like everyone else, I started planning.  I had dates sort of kind of in my head.  I had destinations sort of kind of in my head, but nothing firm.  I started by talking to my mom.  She and I had already been talking about the possibility of taking a trip together, but hadn't really settled on any destinations.  We essentially have a long weekend to work with, because of her work schedule, so we had to choose a place that we could get to and from in a day or less of travel time.  We starting playing with possibilities and finally landed on Galveston, Texas with a stop in College Station on the way.

Why College Station you ask, because of the George H. W. Bush library.  I've written before that I hope to visit all of the Presidential libraries, of which there are currently thirteen.  I've been to five so far, and my sixth awaits in College Station.  While most people collect stamps in their actual passports, I collect stamps in this passport....

A Passport to Presidential Libraries...I've mentioned this passport in blog posts before and I'm sure that tips the nerd scale a little more, but there it is.  I have a relatively childish way to document my visits to Presidential Libraries.  I'm looking forward to picking up another stamp in College Station at the George H.W. Bush Library.

Following the Presidential Library mom and I will be headed to Galveston, Texas to enjoy the beach.  Now, I know that some of my facebook friends are concerned about the flesh eating bacteria recently found in Galveston, but you should know that the bacteria is contracted by getting into the ocean with an open wound or eating raw, contaminated seafood.  Since I have no open wounds that will be exposed to ocean water, nor do I eat raw seafood, I feel confident that my trip to the beach will be a bacteria free experience.  Besides that, a large goal if my trip to the beach is laying on the sand with a book...no ocean water involved, just lots of sunscreen.

I have a few more details to sort out, but overall, mom and I are set.  Vacation here I come!

Wait...I think I've been here before...

In March of 2012 I began this blog.  I mentioned in the first post that I'm not much of a blogger, but that I would try my hand at it.  Now reading through those posts and watching how much my life has changed has been fabulous.  As I read back through some of my posts, I wondered...who wrote that?  She's someone I want to know.  And...oh mercy did I really write that?  I've stopped and started my regular blogging over the last four years.  Today, I'm getting back to publishing my journey.

It's virtually impossible to sum up the last two years in a few words and catch you up on where I've been and where life's journey has taken me.  I'm sure as I begin writing again, I'll find instances where I can share some of those lost stories.  For now, I'll just pick up where I'm at.

I've recently been reflecting on the cyclical nature of life.  If you're anything like me, you keep coming back to the same places and the same challenges, and if you're lucky you've learned something in the interim that will be helpful this time around.  I'm not sure how much I've learned in the interim, but I'm back in a place where I'm faced with the need to get serious about my health, specifically my weight.

I don't know that I've ever been skinny....high school perhaps (at least according to my various dance pictures), but certainly not since college.  Anyone who battles weight issues knows that it is a constant battle.  Mostly it's a battle in which I wave a white flag.  Quite some time ago I began associating weight loss with salad.  If you want to lose weight....eat salad.  Need to drop some inches....celery and lettuce for you.  Want to know a secret?  I don't like salad.  The occasional tossed salad as a side to my meal, okay....but tossed salad for the whole meal?  I'm not a fan.  I've tried various weight loss plans (that don't include transforming into a rabbit) with varying degrees of success.  In fact I imagine if you were to go back through the 90 posts of this blog, you'll find more than one related to my weight battle and the plan I was trying at the time.  It's a battle I try every now and then, when that cycle of life comes back around.  Well guess what....it's here again.  I've been here before...this trying to lose weight business is not for sissies!

In the last year, four months and five days I've gained a significant amount of weight.  I can't tell you how many pounds because I don't know, I just know that it's a significant amount.  I know that it was one year, four months and five days ago, because that's the day my youngest brother passed away.  That was the day that taking care of me took a backseat to anything else.  I've never been good at taking care of myself, and grief magnified that weakness tremendously.  I'll write more about my grief journey another time....for now it's important to acknowledge that for me to make an effort in managing my weight, what I am really embarking on is a journey to take care of me.

It starts with a mindset and a stick-to-it-ness that I've so far not displayed in this particular cycle of life.  I've been here before, I recognize the signs and hopefully this time I know more than I did before.  This time I'm focusing on cooking instead of eating out, meal planning a week at a time, multiple trips to the grocery store in a week and a massive reduction in carbs.  I'm pretty sure I've said those things before too....hmmm....

I would love to tell you that I'm super excited about this new path and that I can't wait to do this, but the reality is that I'm doing it reluctantly.  Knowing I need to lose weight and actually wanting to eat the foods that will facilitate losing weight are two totally different things.  I'm sure this journey will include some culinary hilarity, me in the kitchen usually does.  Tonight, however, I managed to successfully make honey garlic shrimp with rice.  Did you know that if you place marinated pieces of shrimp in the pan one at a time, that the first one will be ready to flip before you get the last one in the pan?  Yeah, learned that tonight...next time I'm just dumping the shrimp in there, this placing them to ensure they cook evenly is for the birds.  My mark of success?  Aside from the fact that it was edible, it turned out just like the food bloggers picture!  Score one for me!

Thank you for joining me on my journey.  If this is your first stop with me, welcome.  I can't guarantee I'll write consistently, or that it will always entertain or tug at your heartstrings, but I can guarantee it will be honest.  I tend to live out loud through this blog, thank you for reading.

Writing in the Margins

It is rare for me to write in the margins of books.  I will crack the spine and dog ear the pages when I can't find a bookmark, but I don't write in the margins.  The exception to that rule is my Bible.

The dedication page just inside the front cover was filled in by my mother.  My Bible was a gift for Christmas in 1992, making it twenty two years old.  Over the course of these twenty two years, I've written many notes in the margins.  This is the Bible I took to camps, on mission trips, taught from during my internships and carried to class at Harding.  Many people have their own story of their Bible I'm sure.

I take my Bible to church with me each Sunday.  I prefer to read along in my text so that I can underline and make notes, rather than just watching the screen.  What I've noticed in recent weeks is that the notes I've made in the margins are contributing to deepening my thoughts and understanding now.  I read the comments I've written before, consider what I'm presently listening to and I become a better student.

Today's sermon was from I John.  One of the notes in my margin says "Bottle Illustration."  You see, not only is my Bible with notes in the margin an assist to me as a student, it also serves as a time capsule.  As I sat in the pew this morning, I began pulling papers out of the front cover of my case so that I could find my bottle illustration.  Behind cards, bulletins, sermon notes, and remembrance brochures, I found this...

If you can't read my fourteen year old handwriting, it says, "Kristen Jones, Quartz Mtn Christian Camp 1993, July 4-9, Theme:  I John "Love"."  There are more notes on the back of this drawing that further explain the lesson.  Among other papers in the cover of my Bible is a directory of sorts of all of those that were in attendance at that camp, that we all signed like a yearbook.  Priceless memories.  That was the last camp I attended with those friends, my family moved that fall and I made new friends and stored new papers.

As I'm sure everyone does, I appreciate these things more now that I'm older.  I'm able to see the most frequently studied sections of my Bible, the lessons I've learned and the memories I've stored, all through the writing in the margins.

Notable Differences

Today I finished my second day as an Enid Public Schools Instructional Coach.  I am learning the ins and outs of how the district works.  I'm learning their procedures, curriculum, resources, data, etc.  There's a lot to learn.  So far this has been a relatively smooth transition.  I didn't have to move.  I knew the people I interviewed with, who are now my supervisors.  I had visited the room that will now house my office and I have a working relationship already with two of my new team members.

There are some very notable differences however between what I've done for the last two years and what I'll be doing going forward.  Here's a short list:

• No travel:  For the last two years I've left town at least four out of five days a week and spent the night away from home an average of seven nights a month.  That will no longer be the case.  I now live in the city where I work.
• Set hours:  For the last two years my hours from day to have have varied to some degree.  I worked eight-twelve hour days, but those eight hours might be 12:00-8:00 p.m. if I was doing evening meetings or training.  That will no longer be the case.  My hours are set.  During the school year I'll work from 7:45-3:45.  As always happens with school teachers, there will be after school meetings and such that will occasionally cause me to work late, but generally speaking, I will now have a solid routine.
• Fewer schools:  Probably one of the most notable differences between the two jobs are the number of schools and districts I serve.  For the last two years I was assigned to work with 22 districts, which translated into more than 50 sites with whom I had contact.  I now work for one district and will have contact with no more than 15 sites, but will focus on fewer than that.

With professional changes, there come personal changes.  What do I mean?  Here's another short list:

• No travel = Less mileage:  Less mileage translates to fewer fill-ups at the gas station, fewer oil changes (I have been having my oil changed every six weeks), and fewer tires to purchase (I've replaced or repaired six tires in two years).
• No travel = More groceries:  My grocery list has been rather short over the last couple of years, especially if I knew I was going to be in and out of town a bunch.  I can't buy a lot of perishable foods and then leave town.  I ate out A LOT in my time on the road.  Not healthy of course, but certainly easier.
• Set hours = New routines:  With a new schedule that includes more permanent hours, I need new routines.  Routines such as eating breakfast at home instead of taking it in the car (my time in the car isn't long enough to eat breakfast while driving anymore) or going to bed earlier so that I can be sure to be out the door by 7:30 every morning.  Those mornings haven't happened regularly enough for me to have an early bedtime.
• Fewer schools = More ME time:  With fewer people to respond to or provide for, I have a lot more time for myself.  I have time to read, organize my house, keep up with my laundry, improve my culinary skills...the possibilities are endless!

One of my favorite TV shows is Criminal Minds.  There is an episode in season three in which FBI Agent Aaron Hotchner and his wife Haley are arguing about his job.  She doesn't want him to join the team on a case in Milwaukee, but he is determined to go.  He says, "This is who I am."  She says, "No, this is what you do."  I find myself walking that line often.  Where is my job "what I do" and where is it "who I am"?  When I let my job become all of who I am, I miss out on other parts of life that weren't meant to be missed.  On the other hand, my job means more to me than just being something I do from 8-5...or 7:45-3:45 as it were.

It takes a lot of work to achieve a balance.  I'm not always motivated to put the work in, it's easier for me to hide in my work than it is to face personal challenges.  With all of the other changes going on however, this seems to be as good a time as any to make a concerted effort to define the difference between who I am and what I do...just one more notable difference.

Casseroles, Deviled Eggs and Banana Pudding

I'm not sure there is anyone who does potlucks better than church families.  If you've grown up going to church potlucks you know they always include casseroles, deviled eggs and banana pudding.  There's a rule book somewhere I'm sure that lists those as staple items for potlucks.

Today I participated in a potluck at my church.  I took a dish of course, I always do, but if you've seen my many culinary crises on facebook, you know that cooking is not my strength.  I also haven't figured out how to take something hot.  Sounds stupid right?  I'm serious though!  I don't know how to take a hot casserole to meal that won't be eaten for a while.  Do I cook it first and take it hot, so that it's lukewarm (if not cool) by the time we eat it?  Do I take it made, but not cooked and borrow oven space at church?  Crockpot stuff I could do, but a baked casserole requires logistics.  I know...I make things too difficult.  

I don't own a deviled egg holder; necessary if that's going to be your potluck contribution.  I prefer to take something that I don't mind coming home with, which means I don't take dessert.  If I come home with dessert, I eat the dessert...by myself.  Today I took raw veggies and ranch dip.  It being summer, I thought that was a good choice.  I didn't have to worry about hot food getting cold, cooking at church or coming home with a bunch of calories.

While potlucks are known for great food, the purpose of course is to fellowship with others.  It's an opportunity to share a meal and conversation with, in this case, other church members.

As you all maybe aware, I've recently changed jobs.  I'm excited about the opportunities ahead of me, but there is a lot of uncertainty for me as well.  I'll save the details for another post, but I mention it here because that job change is part of what motivated me to stay for the potluck.  Weird connection, I know, but it makes sense...

For the first time since I've lived alone as an adult, I will be living and working in the same city.  The relationships I've built in the last two years, for the most part, are people who do not live in Enid.  While I very much value those relationships and I'll be doing my best to maintain many of them, the byproduct is that I don't really have many solid connections here.  I've lived here for two years and I have definitely developed acquaintances and the beginnings of friendships, but I haven't been in town enough to build solid relationships.  That is getting ready to change dramatically.  I will no longer travel.  With the exception of occasional weekends to visit family, I will be in town.  It's time that I build some relationships.  

I read an article recently that discussed the characteristic of humans as social animals.  Frankly put, we need social interaction to keep us sane.  It is no secret that am an introvert and social situations are very difficult for me, but I need social interaction to keep me sane.  I need it to help me be happy and healthy.  

Today that social interaction came because of casseroles, deviled eggs and banana pudding.

Celebrating the Small Steps

This is the time of year when goals are set for the coming year.  We decide on resolutions that will improve our lives, make us happier or bring us joy.  I've never been good at goal setting because I rarely achieve my goals.  Lately though I've decided to embrace the belief that trying matters.  My efforts have to count for something right?  I may not reach the goals that I set, but surely the steps I take and the efforts I make in the direction of those goals matter.  Celebrating the steps is important.  I'm going to be happy with celebrating the steps.

So in that spirit here are some of the things I'm going to try to do this year:

• Find a better balance between my work and personal life.
• Work towards a healthier lifestyle in my food and exercise choices.
• Cook more often than I eat out.
• Write in my journal more often.
• Blog more consistently.
• Maintain a more organized home.

I won't find a perfect balance.  I won't lose all of the pounds I'd like to lose or become a regular gym rat.  I will miss days in my journal and will likely have days and weeks between blog posts.  Acknowledging all of this from the start however, allows me to celebrate the things that I will accomplish.  

Close to two years ago I entitled this blog "It's All About the Journey" because I wanted to embrace life as a journey rather than destination.  It only makes sense that I would apply the same thinking to goal setting.  

Here's to a great 2014!  Happy New Year!

Square Peg, Round Hole

Have you ever felt like that a square peg trying to fit in a round hole?  You know that odd man out that doesn't fit into something regardless of how much you might want to?  I've felt that way a lot lately.  I don't really feel like I belong anywhere.  I have a friend who tells me often that she lives on an island.  I do too, just not the same one.  Sometimes I will try to force a fit, but that rarely works out well.  Lately I'm just trying to get comfortable with it.

Vacation Phase II: Texas

I discovered last March how much I enjoy road trips, so this summer when I had an opportunity to take a road trip through Texas I couldn't wait.  I am the only member of my immediate family that hasn't lived in Texas for some portion of my life.  My parents both lived there during childhood, in Amarillo and Irving.  My dad was born in Amarillo.  My sister lived in Dallas for a few years while working for Dillards.  My brother, Ryan went to college in Abilene.  My youngest brother, Justin was born in Fort Worth and lived there for the first month or so of his life.  I, on the other hand, have never lived there.  Like Arkansas, I have a lot of family in Texas, so I've been to and through the state visiting them, but not using the lens of a tourist.  I decided to be a tourist on this trip.

Dallas
I started my trip in Dallas, well Aubrey to be exact.  One of my mom's sisters and her family live in Aubrey which is a small town outside of Denton.  I made it to town last Monday in time to see my fifteen year old twin cousins play basketball.  They were so much fun to watch!  They are very talented!  On Tuesday they went with me to the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum.  We had so much fun.  There was a lot to see and the facility is state of the art.  It definitely sets a new standard for additional presidential libraries to be built.  When I visited the Eisenhower library last year I bought a passport to presidential libraries (yes I know I'm a nerd).  I was able to get it stamped during our visit.

After the library we had lunch in downtown Dallas before going to the 6th Floor Museum.  The 6th floor of the Texas School Book Depository building is where Lee Harvey Oswald was standing when he shot President Kennedy.  The museum is full of artifacts and videos dedicated to that moment in history.  After touring the museum we went to Dealey Plaza which is just outside the building.  The grounds are beautifully kept and offer a peaceful setting in the midst of a bustling downtown.

Austin:

When I originally was planning my time in Texas, I had thought that I would spend a majority of my time in Austin.  What I discovered however, was that many of the things advertised as "top attractions" in Austin are not things I wanted to do alone.  Austin is known for nightlife and the music scene.  I would love to experience those parts of Austin, but didn't want to go it alone.  I decided instead that I would lengthen my time in Dallas and shorten my time in Austin to just the LBJ Presidential Library.

The LBJ Library was my fifth presidential library to visit, and yes, I got a stamp.  There were three floors of exhibits at this library.  I always learn so much by visiting these places.  Going to the LBJ Library just after going through the 6th Floor Museum made for a seamless look at an important part of our history.  I really enjoyed it!

Houston:

The purpose for my trek through Texas was to ultimately get to the Houston area for my cousin Whitney's wedding.  My aunt and uncle actually live in Magnolia which is about 35 miles north of downtown Houston.  I don't have any wedding pictures, my mom and sister have those, so I'll have to share them later.  Thursday evening we enjoyed a rehearsal dinner of Texas barbecue.  Friday my parents and I drove into Houston to pick Kayla up from the airport.  We came back to Magnolia where we met my Mamaw and my aunt Pam for lunch.  We had time that afternoon before we needed to leave for the wedding, so mom, Kayla and I went swimming.  Well....that's actually probably not fair.  We didn't go swimming, we got in the water.  It was SUPER cold!!  It took forever to get used to, so we just water walked and chatted.  My aunt Pam came and joined us too.  We had a good visit.

The wedding Friday night was beautiful.  It was held at an outdoor venue that was simply gorgeous.  The only rough part was the heat, it was 102 when the ceremony started.  The area was pretty shaded though and the ceremony only lasted about 30 minutes.  The whole thing was fantastic.  We then went inside for a reception that was tons of fun.  I'll have to post pics when I have them.

Saturday we didn't have any major plans so mom, dad, Kayla and I went to a Houston Astros game.  Since one of my goals is to visit every major league ballpark, this game got me one park closer!  The Astros play at Minute Maid Ballpark which is a building with a retractable roof.  I had never been in a dome before, nor had I ever sat behind home plate.  Granted we were way up high, but we were directly behind home plate.  It was a completely different game experience!  I had so much fun spending the afternoon with my family.

We finished our time together with an evening of visiting at my aunt and uncle's house.  They were both so tired from all of the wedding festivities, but they graciously invited us over for the evening to eat and chat.  It was so nice to visit with them.  We just don't get to see them enough!

Home Again:

Today I drove home.  I made four very brief stops, but otherwise just kept moving.  I made it home in exactly eight hours.  I'm tired tonight, but I'm not so exhausted I can't function.  I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow.  I needed the break that I took and I'm looking forward to the start of my next school year, which really kind of starts tomorrow!

It was a great vacation -- now back to reality!

36 Hours

By the time I got home Saturday night, I had about 36 hours to prepare to leave again.  I am leaving Monday morning for a trip through Texas.  I had roughly 36 hours to do my laundry, clean out my car and re-pack.

My cousin Whitney is getting married at the end of the week in Magnolia, TX a suburb of Houston.  I need to be there on Thursday, but I have a couple of days before then to do some sight seeing.  Besides all of the visiting major league ballparks I also want to visit all of the Presidential Libraries.  There are currently thirteen libraries in the US.  I've been to three so far, Kennedy, Clinton and Eisenhower.  This week on my trek through Texas I am planning (hoping) to visit three more, George W. Bush in Dallas, Lyndon B. Johnson in Austin and George Bush in College Station.

I haven't totally mapped out my time through Texas yet, but I am planning to leave tomorrow after taking care of a couple of errands around town.  I've managed to finish most of my laundry, but my suitcase is currently empty.  Lots to do and I'm down to 18 hours!

Leavin' on a jet plane

My flight out of Philly left at 11:56 a.m. on Friday.  The last time I flew out of a northeast airport I flew out of La Guardia in New York City.  I arrived at that airport two and a half hours early and I still had to run to my gate.  I do everything I can to avoid running through airports, so when it came time to determine when I would leave for the Philadelphia airport I took my experience at LaGuardia into account.  I left my hotel in time that I would arrive at the airport close to three hours early.  As it turns out, that much time was not needed to get through security in Philadelphia and I made it to my gate at 9:45 which gave me plenty of time to read and relax in the gate area.

I love to fly.  I'm even one of those weirdos that enjoys airports.  It doesn't bother me one bit to sit in the airport and read for a few hours.

If I learned anything about myself last week it's that I need to work harder to take breaks.  Breaks from work, breaks from technology, just more breaks.  I love to read for pleasure and there's no reason I shouldn't be able to do that at home.  It shouldn't take traveling to allow me to pick up a book for pleasure.  This last week I read four novels for pleasure, it was wonderful to lose myself in the pages of a book.  I need to make it a goal to do that more often.  I got some excellent recommendations from friends of books that I should read and I picked up a selection of books from the Salvation Army last weekend that I'm looking forward to reading them very soon.  After last week I now want to look for books on the American Revolution, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson or any other title that will let me learn more about our nation's history.  So much to learn...so little time!

Both flights were uneventful which is a good thing.  I landed in Tulsa earlier than expected and spent the evening eating my mom's lasagna and watching movies with my brother.  Saturday was my dad's birthday, so I stuck around to celebrate with lunch and cake.  I enjoyed spending time with my family.  I've been blessed to see all of my immediate family in the last week despite our busy schedules and the many directions life takes us.  I am blessed.

Walk This Way

I did more walking on Thursday than the other two days I was in Philly, at least that's the way it felt.  I should have taken a pedometer with me!  Kayla stayed over Wednesday night and we had time Thursday morning to have a nice breakfast at a sidewalk cafe and walk the short distance from my hotel to Independence Mall.  Kayla was able to see Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, Ben Franklin's grave and the outside of Betsy Ross's house.  It was a nice morning.

Washington Square
After Kayla left to go back to NYC I went to Washington Square.  Similar to Franklin Square, this is a park with a large fountain in the center.  There is also a George Washington statue and a tomb for the unknown soldiers of the Revolutionary War.  I sat in the park for a while I read a book.  It was another nice weather day.

Library Hall

After leaving Washington Square I went to Library Hall which was the first public library.  There were meetings going on throughout the building, so I could only tour the lobby, but it was interesting nonetheless.  There was s draft of the Declaration of Independence and the journals of Lewis and Clark.  Every stop during this trip made me want to read more about that period of history.  There are so many things to read and learn and so little time to do it in!!

Independence Seaport Museum

The Independence Seaport Museum was my major stop for the day.  The museum itself was interesting, but the highlight of the visit was being able to tour the Olympia and the Becuna.  This self-guided tour started in the submarine Becuna.  If you are at all claustrophobic I don't recommend touring a submarine.  I don't consider myself claustrophobic and I had a few moments of panic myself.  It was so interesting to see the set up and living areas of the sub's occupants.  After the submarine I was able to tour the ship Olympia which was used in the Spanish American War.  Not as close of quarters there as in the submarine, but not terribly spacious.  Both tours were so much fun!!  I enjoyed both tremendously.  In the picture below the Olympia ship is on the left and the Becuna submarine is on the right.

I was super tired when I got back to my hotel Thursday night.  I considered catching up on pictures and blog posts at that time, but I just wanted to read.  

I hope you've enjoyed seeing all of my stops on my trip and hopefully you haven't been annoyed with all of my facebook posts.  I enjoy being able to share my travels and journeys.  Thanks for traveling with me.  

The City of Brotherly Love (and Sisterly Affection)

You're probably familiar with the nickname for Philadelphia as being "The City of Brotherly Love," you may not be aware that the nickname was revised to include "and sisterly affection" in the last few years to ensure a welcoming spirit for all visitors.  I found Philly to be very kind and accommodating.  Wednesday of my trip was a beautiful day and a very full day.  Here's a recap of my day...

Ben Franklin Post Office
I started my day by mailing post cards from the B. Free Franklin Post Office.  This is the post office that Ben Franklin first established and that was attached to his print shop.  It was the first post office ever to be in operation in the United States and it is still a working post office today.  It's not a full service post office.  Mail is not delivered there and you can't mail anything larger than 13 ounces.  It's perfect for post cards though because they have a special post mark that they use for any outgoing mail.  I always mail post cards to my parents and grandparents when I travel.  I try to get them on the first day of my trip and mail them the next day so that they beat me back, but that doesn't always work out.  I didn't beat them back this time.  I thought it was neat that my recipients would have a small piece of history through something as simply as a post card.

Reading Terminal Market
When I left the post office I walked to Reading Terminal Market.  This is a farmer's market a few blocks from Independence Mall.  It was beautiful!  The produce was artistically displayed.  The fish and meats were beautifully cut.  The bakery items smelled fantastic and the handmade jewelry was creatively shown in glass cases.  I spent an hour just walking the aisles and looking at everything.  I love farmer's markets anyway, and this one certainly tops that list!  It's right up there with the Pike Place Market in Seattle for me.

Franklin Square
Franklin Square is a park, again not far from Independence Mall.  The high on Wednesday only got up to 78 so I had very comfortable weather for being outside.  Some people sit and read at the beach, I sat and read in the park.  I spent about an hour, just reading on a park bench.  The park was full of teens playing football, nannies walking their charges, preschoolers playing on the playground and families out enjoying the day.  Franklin Square includes a mini-golf course and a carousel.  As Kayla has mentioned to me before, parks like this one are very central to the cities they are in because they are essentially the back yards of the citizens there.  So many people in large northeastern cities live in apartments, that these parks become a common place to play and enjoy the outdoors the way many of us do in our backyards.

US Mint
When I left Franklin Square I went to the US Mint.  It is free to tour and was very interesting!  I learned a lot about the history of US coinage and got to see the factory where the coins are made.  I saw belts with lots of pennies and what I think were nickels, although I was a long way away so it could have been dimes or quarters.  There are six mints in the US, the ones offering tours are in Philadelphia and Denver.  You can also  do a virtual tour online.

Betsy Ross House
I also toured the Betsy Ross house on Wednesday.  While she is best known for making the first American flag, there is actually no written document that confirms she did that.  More likely she was part of a group of women that made the first flag.  She is credited with creating a five point star for the flag as opposed to the six point star initially proposed by George Washington.  It's so fascinating to me to see where and how people from other times lived.  The very tiny home that she shared with the widow she rented from and her seven children while her husbands (she had three throughout her lifetime) were off to war was very simple.  It was literally walking back in time.

Elfreth's Alley
Elfreth's Alley is the oldest residential street in the US.  It is currently still home to private residents.  The row houses are well preserved and the cobblestone pathway make you feel as though you've gone to another time.  I just walked through the alley on the way back to my hotel, you can tour one of the houses owned by a historic society if you wish.

Phillies
My sister took a train over from NYC to go to a Philadelphia Phillies game with me on Wednesday night.  One of my goals is to visit every major league baseball park, this game allowed me to add another one to the list of those visited.  We had a dinner or hot dogs and fries...is there any more appropriate dinner for a major league game?  We watched the game and visited, enjoying the night air.  We had someone take our picture together because it's kind of become our thing.  We have a picture of us at Fenway, CitiField, Rangers Ballpark and now Citizens Bank Park.  I'm sure we'll continue to add more!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've mentioned before that I experienced several reactions to my willingness to travel alone.  Most who have expressed concern about me traveling alone have expressed concern for my safety.  I decided about a year and a half ago that I didn't want to live in fear.  I allowed fear to stop me from doing things and I didn't want to do that anymore.  If I waited around for someone who would travel, go to the movies, see a play and such, with me I would still be waiting.  I'm still learning to overcome some of my social anxieties, but I'm much better than I used to be.  Traveling alone is part of me embracing my independence.  It's about me making things happen in life rather than waiting on life to happen to me.  It can be risky to travel alone, that just means you have to be smart about it.  Here are some of the things I do to be smart about my safety.

• I research my destination thoroughly before booking any flights or hotel accommodations.  This includes studying maps, finding eating establishments and looking at ground transportation.  I rarely rent a car, so I want to make sure I know what the public transportation options are.
• I book a hotel that is close to the sights I'll be visiting.  This often means that I pay more, but hotel accommodations are not something to be cheap about.
• I send my flight itinerary and hotel reservation information to my parents before I leave.
• I carry a small cross body purse when I'm out around town, rather than a larger bag or a handbag that I have to carry.  This is as much for convenience as for safety.  I don't want to carry lots of stuff if I'm going to be walking around a lot.
• I don't walk around after dark.  If I'm going to be too far away from my hotel after dark to get back on foot, I catch a cab.

I don't want to be fearful about life, but I do want to be smart about it.  I would encourage others to do the same.  Going to museums and exhibits alone is the easy part, most people don't notice you if you're alone.  In several places I've done the audio tour to go along with my self tour which helps me blend in even more.

Let Freedom Ring

I chose Philadelphia as a vacation location because I'd never been here before and didn't know much about it. After my day today I realize just how much I don't know! It may come as a surprise to you but I'm a planner. In the weeks just prior to this trip I created an itinerary for myself. I did that in part because I needed to prioritize what I wanted to see because there are more sights than I have time. My other reason for doing it was because many tickets could be purchased ahead of time which allowed me to spread out the cost of the trip. Today's plan went exactly as it was supposed to...other than the rain of course. Here's a re-cap of my day.... (I tried to insert pictures, but I'm on my iPad since I didn't bring my computer and it doesn't seem to want to play nicely.)

Independence Visitors' Center
I left my hotel around 8:30 to head to the Independence Visitors' Center. I picked up my ticket for touring Independence Hall later in the day and looked at some of the exhibits there. There are a handful of exhibits in at the Visitors' Center that begin telling the story of Philadelphia and it's role in the creation of our nation.

Constitutional Walking Tour
I have found that all encompassing tours, such as the one I went on today, are very worth the money. You see several sights in a short amount of time and sometimes even see things you wouldn't have found on your own. That in addition to the stories and tips that you get from a good guide make the expense worth it. On today's walking tour I saw Ben Franklin's burial place, the current Quaker meeting house, Betsy Ross's house, Christ Church, First Bank, Carpenter's Hall and the Presidents' House Site,  as well as other buildings and parks along the way. My group only had four people in it, so we had some flexibility about what we could stay around and look at as opposed to just walking  by. We also had a very good guide which was nice. I decided as we were walking around this morning that Philadelphia seems to be a cross between New York City and Boston, with a little bit of DC thrown in too.

National Constitution Center
After the walking tour, I went back to the National Constitution Center. It was very interesting! It began with a live performance of the story of the creation of the Constitution then was followed by several exhibits. There were several exhibits that were interactive. They were designed with children in mind, but the teacher in me couldn't resist. One of my favorite exhibits was the one that demonstrates the voting process. You go into a voting booth, curtain and all, and press start on the monitor. The computer randomly selects two past (or the current) president to go on your "ballot." Then the computer begins showing quotes of the presidents on major issues like crime, energy or foreign policy.  You select the statement that you most agree with and at the end the computer tells you which president goes with those statements. The idea is that you evaluate issues independent of the candidate and their political party. It was a very cool exercise I thought!

When I got ready to leave the Constitution Center it was raining. I decided to have a bite of lunch while I was waiting on the rain to clear.

Liberty Bell
The Liberty Bell was my next stop today. Like several of the places I went, I discovered that I actually know very little about the Liberty Bell. There were several things to read and look at before you get to the bell itself. It was a very neat stop during my day.

Independence Hall
Independence Hall is where both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were signed. It was humbling to stand in the room where some of the greatest minds in our nation, Ben Franklin, Tomas Jefferson, James Madison and George Washington (to name a few) worked on documents that would create our nation and our government. Like my other tours today, I had an excellent tour guide for the Independence Hall tour.

Bourse
My last stop of the day was the Bourse Food Court and Shops. Initially designed to be a center for commerce and business, the Bourse building has several souvenir shops. It was here that I bought....wait for it....a book! I'm sure you're all shocked. I will say that after hearing during the walking tour that books used to cost between $3,000-5,000 I didn't feel badly for spending $10 on mine.

I have my plan ready for tomorrow. It's much more flexible than today's schedule because those tickets have not been purchased yet, although Kayla and I will be going to a Phillies game tomorrow night. The rain has let up and tomorrow is supposed to be beautiful. I'm looking forward to day two!

You like yourself, that's good!

I travel alone quite a bit. Typically I meet people at my destination that I know, either colleagues at a conference or friends or family on vacation. This trip is a little different. My sister is coming over on Wednesday evening to go to a baseball game with me, but other than that I am vacationing on my own this week. The reactions I've gotten from people when they find out I am traveling alone vary greatly. I've had some feel sorry for me. I've had some tell me that they admire my courage. I have had some tell me they're afraid for me. I've had some tell me they wish they could travel alone too. I think the reaction I got from a fellow passenger today was by far the most unique, but it was also the most profound. The gentleman sitting next to me on my first flight, when I told him I was vacationing alone said "You like yourself, that's good." 

I hadn't ever thought about it like that. When I tell people about my the road trip that I took last spring that quite frankly changed my life, I always tell people that you have to be willing to get to know yourself when you spend that much time alone. That trip involved many hours in the car and therefore many hours to think. I never really considered though, that traveling alone meant that I liked myself. In fact there are many times that statement isn't true. I don't always like myself, so I thought it interesting that the gentleman today equated my solo travel with my feelings about myself as a person. I'll have to give that one more thought this week.

I'm very bad at boundaries. I don't set many. I've made setting boundaries a priority for this two weeks. I leave my phone on silent. I've set my work e-mail to send an automated, out-of-office reply. I did not bring my laptop or my jump drives.  I am participating very limitedly in the facebook group for my team. I told my dad tonight I don't realize how badly I need a break until I finally take one. I finally took one and I needed it badly. My goal for the week, other than spending time in a city that I've never seen before, is to check out. This week is for me. This week is my chance to re-charge. 

I have a plan and some of those things are set in stone because the tickets are already purchased, but I have a lot of wiggle room as well. My hotel is across from the Delaware River. I've already spent an hour or so staring out at the water, watching the boats float by and I'm sure I will spend more time there. I need the peaceful, healing powers of water this week. I'm exactly where I should be and I like it.